Things That Irritate Me Episode 1

Being pregnant and thus hormonal means that things irritate me that never irritated me before.

There's the usual things, like someone smacking their gum, cutting you off in traffic, or loudly talking on their cell phone while blocking the green beans in the grocery aisle that you could have gotten if they were able to hear you say excuse me over their obnoxious conversation. Perhaps this actually happened recently.

Then there's the weird things. Things that really no one should be irritated by. This is where pregnancy hormones come in.  It's like I've turned into the incredible hulk and I have a sudden store of rage that was just waiting for a human leech to feed it's powers. PREGNANT LADY ANGRY!! PREGO SMASH!!

Rather than punching someone I thought it would be better if I just used my blog to vent about the various things that cause so much irritation. Number 1 on my list lately is audible yawning. Something about it just stirs up the rage in me until I just want to punch it out of the yawner in question.
I'll admit my husband tends to fall prey to my irritability more than anyone else due to the fact that he's just around me more. Nearly every night I'm treated to an audible yawning concert. It's all I can do not to yell at him. At first I thought it was just him that annoyed me, but then felt the same pang of rage at a store when I heard someone yawn out loud and I realized it wasn't just my husband.

What really makes me mad is when I catch myself doing it. It's one of those things that you just do. It's like sneezing or breathing (also things that irritate me lately). Everyone does it a little different, but everyone does it and you can't really control when you do. So on a logical level I know that it is unreasonable to demand that all audible yawning be ceased in my presence. It's outrageous even. Especially considering I do it myself. But hormones will not be controlled in this state, so I will have to continue to endure my rage in silence. Because that is the only nice thing to do.

*I apologize for any profuse yawning induced by the frequent mention of yawning in this post*

Dressing Post Delivery & Ultrasound Antsiness

I went grocery shopping this evening after getting some sewing done. Paul's on swing shift so I have to do evening activities alone most of the time. I sometimes wish that I had a person on call that could just come do mundane things with me to keep me company. I suppose most call these friends. It's harder to find these kinds of people when you get older though because they move away and then they have their own mundane things to tend to.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I will be serving as
your pregnant bridesmaid. Enjoy!

Anyway, after grocery shopping I stopped at David's Bridal to grab a catalog and ask someone about post-pregnancy bridesmaid dress shopping. I'm a bridesmaid in Caitlin's wedding and we're going dress shopping on Sunday. I didn't want to steal her spotlight with my personal dress concerns so I thought I'd ask ahead of time. The girl at the store was really helpful. She said to definitely wait until after I deliver to buy my dress. When she was pregnant not only did she drop the weight, she was two sizes smaller than before she got pregnant! (If only right?) Not to mention that my boobs keep getting bigger and who knows where they'll be when I'm breast-feeding. I'm glad I asked now because I won't be worrying about finding something quite as much on Sunday. It's weird to have to think this far out in advance though!

Ultrasound is in 3 1/2 days! It occurred to me that we may not find out the gender of the baby at this appointment, and while it's better to not get your hopes up and be disappointed, I can't help myself. Hopes. Up. Way up. Even if we can't see the details of our babies hoo-haw I'm still excited to see the rest of it!
My prenatal appointment is the next day and I think my mom is going to meet me for it. Paul has to work. I'm looking forward to having her meet my midwife and her seeing the birth center. She can ask questions and stuff this way too.

Registry Ranting

I've been working on putting together our baby registry for probably a month or so now. It's been mostly a little bit of time spent here and there so that it's not quite so overwhelming. That's been part of the game plan anyway. The other part of the plan was to register for things that we would like to have more specifically. For example, I care if I have the puj tub because it's great for saving space, but I don't care what kind of pacifiers, safety kits or bibs we use. It's a bit challenging to really predict what we'll have space for at this point with shopping for a house while living in a one-bedroom apartment, so I've been trying to find things that are pretty simple, inexpensive, and space saving. I've also been trying to find things that could probably be found second-hand.

Simple = $130

That said, this morning I decided to look for a bouncer. This product is really eluding me as far as finding what I want. In my attempt to not be too picky, I'm finding that I'm incredibly picky about this. First of all, I really can't stand stuff that's "too much". This means things with an overabundance of padding, plastic toys, bright colors, busy patterns, and sickening cute themes. I believe I've mentioned this before. Baby gear items are probably the worst offenders so far; gear items being bouncers, high chairs, carriers, swings, floor mats, portable cribs.

Ridiculous = $39

What baffles me is that I thought I'd be able to find something simple for less money. No such luck. Apparently simple equals expensive. My favorite bouncer, the baby bjorn babysitter, retails for $170 typically. I found it for $130. This is close to what the crib costs. Somehow this seems unjustifiable. I don't have many items that are very expensive though so I figure this can be one of my splurges. The video I linked on here sold me on it.

Today I'm at 19 weeks. Sources say that baby can hear sounds outside the womb now. I've decided our baby will probably come out singing Italian art songs since that's what I teach all day and that's what I tend to play on the piano. This has me contemplating the music I may want to have at the birth. I was born to Vivaldi, which I think was a good solid choice. Perhaps I'll make a playlist on my iPod and then whatever it happens to be on when I actually deliver will be a surprise.

I probably have a few more months to get my registry all put together, but I'd like ideas for things to post on it. Here's what I have so far: Registry Link. Seriously. I would love suggestions. So far I've put a few items that are less then gender neutral and will just delete the ones that don't work after the ultrasound. Otherwise, this will basically be my shopping list when the shower is over and I have to figure out what I still need.

Going Natural

Someone on my natural childbirth forum posted this story Supermodel Natural Childbirth and I was happy to see that even pretty people can handle natural birth.

One of the girls on my bowling team said that my back brace made me  look like santa claus. I found this amusing. I suppose I don't really need to feel attractive with my belly hoisted up and my back supported! The good news is that my bowling is kicking so much ass right now! Thursday we post bowled and I bowled 148, 125, 148. Last night I bowled 156, 150, 140. My average is 117. Booyah!

Today I'm going to Ikea with my sister to contemplate baby things and to pick up a couple things for the new apartment. I may also eat meatballs. Still undecided on that part.

Also, it's sunny!

Dreams

The last two nights I've had these very complex epic dreams. The first one was like a fantasy novel. There were different cities that were all laid out, characters and creatures. It was like a book and a video game in one. Everything was so vivid and developed and I knew I had a specific task to complete, but when it finally came time for me to do it, I couldn't remember how to do anything or where anything was. I ended up wandering around a lodge trying to find the light switches and trying to work a remote I had that did special things. Characters showed up that I knew I was supposed to interact with and I couldn't remember what to say.

Last night my dream was about the bowling alley. I dreamt everyone quit except the managers and they needed me to jump in and help, but I was due any day. So I agreed to help but said that if I went into labor I'd have to leave. I ended up having my baby in a bathroom stall (so really it was more of a nightmare) and it was very premature. I was excited to see that it was a girl, but upset because it started to turn into a cat. I continued working while Paul walked around the bowling alley with the baby. The whole bowling alley was in overhaul with rooms being built into it and a bunch of stuff going on besides bowling. It felt more like a casino. Basically chaos. I had to run around cleaning things up and moving huge amounts of stuff left behind in hotel rooms. It started getting confusing because everywhere I'd go had changed somehow. Then I remembered to call my midwife about my baby, and I remembered all the things I had thought would happen when I delivered that hadn't happened. It was stressful.

18 Weeks

This morning in the shower I looked down at my hand and saw that my wedding ring wasn't there. I usually only take it off for specific reasons and with moving, everything is sort of out of place still. This was the first time I couldn't remember taking it off. I kept thinking where I would have put it, and even glanced out the curtain to see if it was on the bathroom counter. "I'll find it somewhere, I'm sure it has to be in the house, so don't stress." I thought to myself. When I got out of the shower I started making a mental list of places I would check. Then I realized I should double check my hands. It was on my finger the whole time. I had looked at my right hand in the shower. This made me feel stupid.

My chiropractor gave me a huge support belt to wear around my hips. It takes the weight of the baby off of my lower back. What amuses me about it is that is makes my hips look tiny and gives me a giant belly muffin top. It's very attractive.

I've decided my good luck must have worn off after the first trimester. They say that the second trimester is the joyride of pregnancy. For me it's been a fairly painful experience in my back and abdominal muscles, and it's worse when the baby is shifting or I have bad gas in my intenstines. It's getting more difficult to stand up after lying down for more than ten minutes or so and I get wrenching pains when I do. The belt really helps but I can't wear it constantly.

I tried to do the one prenatal yoga workout that was available on Netflix stream this evening. I want to try to find a workout both to keep me from losing all the shape I worked so hard on before I got pregnant, but also to try to build strength to alleviate some of the pain I'm in. I wanted to punch the lady leading the video. Perhaps I'm oversensitive at the moment, but when I hurt, the last thing I want to hear is how "at one with the earth" I should be. This is something that always annoys me about yoga. What if I don't care about my spiritual connectedness to my workout and I just want to stretch and feel better? I tried really hard to buy into all of this when I did bikram yoga but I ended up being more frustrated than anything. I think the "spiritual" aspect doesn't come into play unless you can be alone in your head while you exercise. I spend lots of time focusing on my breathing when I'm paddling in the dragon boat or walking a trail by myself. When someone's talking me into it I get annoyed.

I ordered a different video off of amazon. Hopefully I will find it less annoying. I need to do something to build up my strength and stamina for labor and delivery anyway. I'll report on my findings with this video when I have something to report. Has anyone else found a class or a video that they liked? I'm curious for ideas.

I remembered yesterday that your uterus is more efficient with labor and contractions if it's toned, and that the best way to tone your uterus is to drink pregnancy tea. You're not supposed to drink it in the first trimester so I forgot about it, but I remembered I could drink it now and I've been on my A game having a cup a day so far. I got a tea kettle and everything! It's good tea weather anyway with the constant rain and all!

13 days until my ultrasound!

Week 17

I called yesterday and scheduled my first ultrasound for the end of this month. For most of my pregnant friends ultrasounds are pretty routine. For me though this is probably the only one I'll have (given we find the gender of the baby). Honestly this is one of the only drawbacks I've found with Andaluz. I wish I could have been having monthly ones, but I suppose this is cheaper. I am really excited to actually see the mystery that's making my belly so big!

Things have been interesting at the chiropractor. He gave me the test results from the car accident this week. I don't have any acute injuries, but I definitely have some limited nerve function from muscle swelling along my spine. Today's headache is proof that just because you feel better doesn't mean your injury has gone away yet. The silver lining is that part of my treatment is regular massage all courtesy of our auto insurance.

I've discovered a few of things that I really like this week. First is chocolate milk. I finally sat down and read what it is that my midwives think I'm supposed to be eating and 4 servings of dairy is not easy to come by. Second is the babycenter book on pregnancy. I like the layout and the pictures and it's easy to navigate. It also has equal amounts of information on hospital and natural births which I think is really cool. (most I've looked at don't). The last thing is the clearance rack at Target. I scored an awesome maternity sweater for $7 yesterday. It's a $30 sweater and I even had intentions of getting on like it before I found it!

Baby Price Tags

Up until last week, my biggest financial concern regarding our baby was making the initial payment for my prenatal care at Andaluz. It was really hard keeping the money in our bank account over the holiday but we managed to do it.

It's finally starting to dawn on me how much money babies might cost beyond the cost of maternity care. Actually, I should say, the reality of the price tag on having a baby is still a bit of a hazy blurry number floating in space, but I'm starting to see that there is in fact a very large number floating out there. Sure we need some items like a car seat and a crib. And these things aren't cheap, but we always manage to have what we need.

That's been my attitude thus far and thus far it's kept me sane.

What has me second guessing my philosophy is the sudden realization that we are going to be needing a lot of stuff. So I started looking into it. And I realized not only are there a huge number of things you definitely need and can prepare for, there are probably even more things you can't even begin to imagine you'll need. Not only that, but many items become unusable after the baby reaches a certain size and weight and then you need to buy bigger more expensive items later on.

This is rather dissimilar to a wedding registry. At least with that, the items I didn't get weren't really "essential" per se. Like, the fact that I didn't get a cuisinart isn't going to be a big enough problem that I definitely have to go spend the $200 to buy it or I will never chop food again. But if I don't get a stroller, I will end up having to buy one in addition to the many other essential items that won't be fulfilled on my baby registry because they're not glamorous enough to give as a gift.

I've been trying very hard to think minimalist when it comes to this baby stuff. I don't want my kids to ever have more than a few toys. I can get buy without many things that are touted as essential. And what makes it easier not to go crazy is that many "baby"things are just heinous as far as aesthetics are concerned. I pretty much dislike every matching nursery and bedding set I've seen. Perhaps I'll just have to resolve myself to a home full of pastels, hard plastic rainbow colors and sickeningly sweet farm animals. What worries me is will I have the money to buy things that need to be frequently replenished? And what will I do when I've run out of the 20th onesie that my infant has spit up on that day and there aren't any more clothes left? My breasts can't pump themselves and a good breastpump is nearly $300!

Rest assured I haven't hit the panic button yet. I still have 6 months to get my inventory together and I think we'll probably be able to survive the first few weeks at least after the baby is born. It's just starting to dawn on me how much stuff we really need!

Keeping Up with Life

It's amazing to me at how much I actually do when I feel like I don't do anything. Yesterday I un-ornamented my tree, cataloged and put away 80 dvd's into a new case, cleared the rest of our bar into a packing box, finished crocheting a toy panda for a friend's baby shower, did an hour and a half at the chiropractor, did some shopping and banking, taught 2 1/2 hours of voice lessons, made all the arrangments for a masterclass with my students, and managed to make dinner before Paul had to go to work. This amount of doing things is probably not abnormal for most people I suppose. I tend to feel like I don't do anything when I'm not working normal shifts on a daily basis and sometimes I have to remind myself that I do get things accomplished even if I'm not getting paid.

Sunday we got in a pretty good sized car wreck. Neither of us feels terribly injured, but the test results from the chiropractor suggest otherwise. Basically when you're pregnant all your ligaments are more flexible. So when they're jarred it takes them much longer to repair. This is why all the time at the chiropractor. Getting treatment isn't really the source of the stress though. Not having two cars has been a bit challenging. I had to get up at 7 to borrow my dad's car before he got to work this morning so I can get to my prenatal appointment today. We're also now burdened with the deductible for the repairs on our car since the other driver seems to be lying about the green light she swears she had when she plowed into us. I went to bed last night feeling like our finances are spiraling out of control and that we'll never be able to provide for our baby. I have to keep reminding myself that at the moment, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and a family that loves me and will always take care of my basic needs. In other words, things could be worse. I also have to remind myself that in days/weeks/months/years the stress and worry I carry around with me will be composed of entirely new problems and that this is nothing I can't handle. Still, it's been a bit stressful.

I have my second prenatal appointment today. I'm looking forward to meeting my second midwife. I'm also looking forward to getting the referral to the ultrasound tech. I read through all the weeks of fetal development in my mayo clinic book last night. I'm looking forward to feeling like my baby is a separate entity rather than an invisible source of discomfort. I will post pictures of my ultrasound the day I get them! And, as I've promised countless numbers of people, I will let everyone know if it's a boy or a girl as soon as I do!