Works for Me!

It's interesting to me what we assume to be true about other mothers and their babies. I have several friends with kids right now (hi moms!) and it's always a nice reality check to hear how they deal with similar problems and issues. But no two babies are alike, and neither are their moms.

Lately Charlotte's two biggest challenges have been spitting up and sleeping. I know I should count myself lucky that these are the hardest things I have to deal with. Still, it doesn't make it any easier for me to hear "you think you had it bad, I had to deal with x, y and z..." Being a mom is hard work regardless of what you're dealing with. In spite of all the "encouragement" I seem to be figuring out a solution that works for me.

Charlotte had her 6-month well-baby visit last week.

Just as a side note, I want to point out that I've been so fogged in the head due to lack of sleep and stress that I went to her appointment and mine a day later than they were scheduled. I had to take her to a completely different pediatrician. I started crying when they told me I had to see a different doctor. I really like her doctor.

Anyway, I took her for her rescheduled appointment and the new doctor told me that she doesn't mind if a baby's small as long as they continue to grow regularly. Charlotte had only grown half an inch and a little more than half a pound. I'll admit I went in with the mindset that I was done dealing with the spit up. So when the doctor prescribed medication for it I didn't protest too much. I think the medicine is supposed to help digest dairy proteins or something like that. Whatever it's supposed to do, it's helped cut down the spit up quite a bit. She still spits up, but it's nothing like it was.

So far with the sleep I've tried a whole slew of different approaches and I think I've finally found a winner in attachment parenting. The last two nights I've just had her in the middle of my bed all night. She went to sleep right away. She stayed asleep longer than she's ever stayed asleep. I may be digging my grave in terms of my kid sleeping in our bed, but this is the most sleep I've gotten since she was born and I would rather share my bed and get some sleep than be miserable.

Even though it has nothing to do with Charlotte, it has made a big difference in my stress level. Yesterday we discovered The Hannah Society. For a couple months we've been told we either needed to come up with $1000 to amputate Bailey's broken leg or we needed to give him up to the humane society. The Hannah Society offers affordable pet insurance that includes delivered food, training classes, and all medical care. Because he has a preexisting condition we have to pay a little more per month the first year year and the payments come out to $75 a month.

The payments are a bit of a strain for us in lieu of our trying to pay down bills etc.. but it's far more doable than the options we were given at Banfield. The best part is that I took Bailey to the Hannah vet today and not only does she think his leg doesn't need to be amputated, it may not even need surgery. He's gotten pretty fat though so they want him to roam free in the house to get some exercise and to see how he does with his leg before they do any more tests.

I will do a post holiday summary next time, I'm just so relieved about these issues I felt the need to talk about them first!

Fewer Voices in the Night

Well, it's been about a week of working on the sleep training. I just got "the no-cry sleep solution" in the mail and have been reading through it. Combined with the advice nurse I think I may be on my way to a better night's sleep.

After the first night with the bottle of water, Charlotte completely refused to even try to suck on the bottle. The second night was a battle of wills. It was my will for her to go back to sleep without nursing, it was her will to prove to me that she wanted things her way by screaming as loudly as she could. Fortunately sleep training has started to take. I had set her bedtime for 9:30 and had started a routine. Then I read in the no-cry book that babies need to be in bed much earlier - like 7pm - and that my almost 6-month-old needs around 11 hours of sleep each night and 3-4 hours between 2 naps during the day.

To this I gave a dropped jaw "wha?! that much?!" I had no idea. The funny thing was that in the same paragraph the author says that she was putting her baby to bed around 9:30 and her baby started sleeping longer when she set and earlier bed time. It's like she knows me.

Charlotte almost always takes a long nap around 7. I don't know how it didn't occur to me that I should just put her to bed! So tonight when she started to get red eyed and sleepy I put her to bed. That was around 8. I fed her again at 10:30 and she's still asleep even now as I type.

Now that I've started to get a handle on the night-time sleeping thing, the next challenge is going to be the naps. So far Charlottes naps have been pretty short and at the mercy of my schedule. She sleeps in the car if I've been driving long enough and she always wakes up when I take her seat out of the car. If I'm home, she usually sleeps around noon but never more than half an hour. Other than in her carseat, she never naps without being held and she certainly doesn't get 3-4 hours of sleep each day. So now I have my work cut out for me. I need to figure out how to keep her asleep during the day. Considering how inconsistent my daily routines are this is going to be a tough one to figure out.

Ode to gDiapers

Charlotte modeling the Goddess Pink gPant

When I was pregnant I spent countless hours researching diapers on the internet. I don't remember exactly when or where I ran across gDiapers, but I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight. So much so that I've been planning on writing this blog post since before my baby was born because I was so excited to use their products. There are so many reasons why I love these diapers, but in order to understand I'll need to explain how they work.

The gPant
That's the part you see. They come in all sorts of colors and designs - one of my favorite features. The waistband is elastic and velcro closures fasten toward the back of the diaper. The back closures are nice because I can stand Charlotte up if she's fussy to finish putting her diaper on. I imagine they'll also be nice when she's at an age where she can take her own diaper off since getting them open will be much more challenging than a typical diaper. I had about 10 of them in small and my medium collection is up to around 14. I don't need that many, but I'm kind of a nerd about collecting all the colors. I loved matching the colors with cute shirts in the summer and they look extra cute with baby legs.

The Pouch:
These snap into the pant and hold the pad. Rubbery piping around the edges fit around babies legs to prevent leaking. Because they aren't a permanent part of the diaper, you can easily switch them out of the pant if they're soiled. They wash pretty easily but break down faster if they go through the dryer - something I'm not great about preventing. The liner in the second picture is a bit yellow from staining. The amazing thing is they completely bleach to white if I put them in the sun for a few minutes.

gCloth
Next is what you stuff into the liner. This is a huge selling point for me! There are a few options. One is the gCloth. What's special about these cloth inserts is that one side is a soft cotton and the other is a very absorbent hemp. I used about 24 small ones and have 18 medium/large ones now. I throw them into my gdiaper laundry bag and throw the whole bag into the wash every couple days. In the medium/large size a prefold will fit rather nicely. They're much less expensive, but I really like the gCloth personally and I feel like they were worth the investment.

gRefills
The gRefills are one of the two things that sold me on these diapers over other cloth diaper systems (the other thing being the availability in stores - more on that later though!). I've worked out a system where I cloth diaper when I'm home and use the refills when I'm out of the house and at night. What's absolutely amazing about these is that they are amazing absorbent (I never change her during the night) and you can flush them! Yeah, that's right. YOU CAN FLUSH THEM! They are completely biodegradable if you don't flush them. You can also compost pads that are poo free.

The system is really great, but you may wonder, what about the cost? This was something I really thought about before I invested in this system. Diapers are expensive regardless of which route you take. These cost quite a bit up front. I could have chosen a less expensive cloth system, but I decided to go with these for a few reasons. First is that I can use them again. We plan on having more kids and besides the pink diapers, we can reuse the pants and cloth pads - we'll probably have to buy new liners which come in packages of 6 for $20. The other reason I chose these is resale value. I shopped for used ones for months online. They're like the Honda of diapers. They retain their value.

I loved this shirt during the summer
because it matched several different
colored gPants.

Because this is one of the only cloth systems available in major retail stores I've been able to coupon to cut some of the costs. Many packages came with a coupon for $2.50 and sometimes $5.00 off if you bought a two pack of the gpant and a package of gRefills. If you're not picky about color, the starter packages online aren't too bad. Diapers.com has a first time buyer discount and runs specials fairly often. I just bought 4 diapers for the price of 2 on babies'r'us website making each pant less than $10. New Seasons has sales on pants and refills every once in awhile as well. I've managed to piece my collection together fairly reasonably.

This was a limited edition
pattern last summer.

Beyond just diapers, gDiapers makes really great quality products. I've bought the laundry bag which I mentioned, I've also tried the cloth liners. These allow the wet to be absorbed into the cloth pad while catching the poo so for poopy diapers you don't have to rinse out the pad. The wet wipes are awesome as well. I tried quite a few different brands of baby wipes but these are the only ones that don't make me think of poo just because of the smell. They're almost odor free.

Okay, I'm almost done being a personal advertisement for this brand! I just want to mention a couple more reasons that I love these diapers. I've already mentioned how I bought them in stores. Recently babies'r'us expanded their selection and now they carry several more products which is great if you don't want to pay for shipping. Another reason is their customer service. Their site has videos and explanations for how to be successful with their products and when I've had to call their customer service they were very knowledgeable and friendly. The last reason I like them is that they're local. gDiapers were created in Australia but their US headquarters is based in Portland (I've been there for tea!) and I like to buy local when I can.

This video she's wearing her orange diaper with her rainbow baby legs. 

So there you have it. My ode to gDiapers. Perhaps my complete nerd devotion to a cloth diaper system is a bit ridiculous, but there you have it!

If this wasn't enough information for you, there's always their beautifully designed website: http://www.gdiapers.com/

Voice in the Night

Last night was quite a learning experience. I fed Charlotte a jar of apples mixed with rice cereal, bathed her, rubbed her with lotion, got her in pj's and nursed her before putting her to bed about 8:45. She went right to sleep, no problems. But then about 10:30 she woke up and wouldn't go back down again.

Around 12:30 I finally decided I'd had enough. Not only was I up unexpectedly, this unpredictability was turning into a pattern that I didn't want to repeat. I started to get overwhelmed by everything - the spit-up, the drooling, the biting, the hourly nighttime feedings, and the fact that Paul is required to work so much overtime I feel like I have to do it all on my own.
I didn't know what else to do so I called the nurse advice line at my pediatric clinic thinking they'd tell me that this was just part of being a mom. Surprisingly the nurse that called me back from Legacy had lots of really great ideas on how to get my sanity back (besides the usual hard drugs and drinking method :-P).
For biting, she said to scream bloody murder when she bites me, stick her on the floor, and walk away without looking her. I haven't tried this yet, but I know how my baby hates it when I scream, so I know this will probably make a difference.
For the hourly feedings she asked what I was doing with her. I said that I had her in a co-sleeper. When she wakes up and starts grunting at night I pull her in to bed with me and feed her. If she fusses when I put her back, I usually just keep her in bed with me. The nurse told me I was developing the bad habit of her sleeping in bed with me. Especially since she did sleep through the night before. So she told me to have a bottle of water on hand to feed her knowing she wouldn't like it for when she wakes up.
I followed her advice and gave her the water probably four times through the night. She gagged on it and then I gave her the binkie and she went right back to sleep. Around 6 she woke up and I gave her the water. She started gulping it so I knew she was actually hungry and I fed her.
I couldn't believe that this worked! Not only that, she slept in her co-sleeper all night with the side up. I didn't think she'd go back to sleep if she couldn't see me. Hopefully this is the ticket I needed to a full night of rest!
The moral of the story is, I probably should have called the nurse help line weeks ago. I tended to not bug my midwives when I was pregnant either knowing they had very long hours and busy schedules. But I could have probably saved myself weeks of sleepless nights if I'd called as soon as she started teething.

Epic Update

For me, writing is a way for me to gather my thoughts. I feel like my thoughts lately are so scattered (probably due to a lack of sleep) that I must gather them up and categorize them! So here is my life categorized.

First, SLEEP.
It's not happening anymore. Charlotte was sleeping so well and then teething hit and it ended. She had me up feeding her every hour last night. EVERY HOUR. I've been waking up with a stiff neck every morning for at least three weeks. I'm on my third pillow attempt to ease my sore neck. I'm going to look into sleep methods. It's a bit difficult to sleep train with a house full of people that need to be up at all hours of the morning. But I can't function like this. It also doesn't help that my husband works graveyards. So I don't have the option of "your turn." I need a frickin break.

FOOD.
Chuck's been on solids for a month now. I haven't been overzealous about making sure she has some every day, but I think I'll probably up the solids to once a day at least. She eats that much easily when I do feed her. This means I need to buy cases of baby food. I think I'll wait to make my own baby food when we have our own house. As it is, there's really no place to store it anyway.

GROWING
Charlotte wants to crawl so bad but can't seem to figure out the coordination for it yet. I think she's also going through another growth spurt because she's been eating like crazy and sleeping more during the day. I just bought her 6 month clothes (albeit not as many as 3 month). I would like if she could wear them for at least a few more weeks. Anyone else notice that pajamas and jackets are the last thing they grow out of?  Maybe it's just my baby.

HOLIDAYS
If I didn't have a calendar I would guess that it's early October right now. The holidays feel a bit surreal to me. Thanksgiving just felt like another family meal. I'm beginning to think that traditions are what make the holidays feel like something special. In terms of Christmas, I'm really disappointed that no one wants to go to the tree farm to get a tree. I've been trying to establish this as a family tradition for Paul and I three or four years now and he fights me on it every year. I don't really understand his aversion to it. We have zero holiday traditions left in my family. I want us to have some. I think another tradition I want to start is Black Friday people watching. Perhaps I'll make a website devoted to photos of crazy people on black friday.

BUSY MOM
Right now I'm in the process of putting together a holiday recital for my voice studio. I'm a little nervous about my students preparedness. I've continued to take voice lessons and I feel like they've been very beneficial. I've made it my goal to give a recital (the senior recital I never had) probably mid-February. I need to get going on planning the details!

I'm also on the planning committee for my high school reunion. I love event planning (probably a bit too much) and I've spent quite a bit of time on it.

Lastly I've been seriously contemplating starting a small business making stuffed animals to sell on etsy and in a couple local baby shops. I think it's a good plan, but I worry about the time commitment. I really want to do it though, I think it's a completely viable business. I need to spend time doing some more research.

BAILEY
I think Paul and I are a bit stumped about what to do with our cat. He broke his leg and has been in a kennel for about 6 weeks. We shelled out the $160 to get x-rays which showed that he needs to have his leg amputated. The problem is that this costs $1000+ to do. We don't have the money. We don't have the credit. We basically have to give him up. I'm mad because he's been through so much and we've always managed to keep him - not to mention that we've spent over $400 on this leg so far. Paul's in denial and doesn't seem to want to do anything at all. In the meantime, our poor cat is stuck in a kennel with a leg that's not healing.

HOUSE
We're a bit further from buying a house than I'd like. I'm months behind on my Sallie Mae payments and it's hurting Paul's credit. We have no savings either. Giving, we've only been at my parents 3 months, but I'm getting antsy. Hopefully we'll be able to pre-qualify for our home-loan by February. I've kind of lost my momentum for the time being. We've been working really hard to be on a budget and to get stuff paid down. It still feels like our bank account is a sieve.

The Teeth Have Landed

Charlotte has been developing rather quickly. She's completely sitting up on her own (although she still topples now and then) she's very talkative, she's able to grab straight for things she wants (and put them in her mouth), she has no problem finding sounds, seeing people from far away, and she's even started mimicking sounds she hears a little bit. Right now my sister is teaching her to high-five. She doesn't quite get the concept, but she's moving her hand to my sisters every time.

I had hoped that in the midst of all of these developmental milestones, that teething would be one of the ones on a normal timeline.

But, like everything else, teeth have come early.

At first I was upset because I dreaded what this meant for breastfeeding. Fortunately it hasn't been to much of an issue. It's all the other symptoms that have me in the fetal position on the floor in the wee small hours of the morning.

Teething comes with a whole slew of symptoms. Stuffy noses, irritability, changes in sleep patterns,   drooling, chewing on everything, and, last but not least, sore swollen gums.

She gets frustrated from her stuffy nose because she can't breathe when she's eating. So I try various methods to help her breathe better, all of which make her furious. It's hard to tell when she's fussy because her gums hurt or if she's fussy because she's just tired or cranky. So I never know when to give her medicine. I just got a homeopathic one called Kids Relief. I figure with Homeopathic stuff, if I give it to her and she doesn't actually need it, at least it won't hurt her.

I have to say that the absolute worst parts of teething are the changes in sleep and the drool. I was getting a nice solid 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. That's all over. Now I'm lucky if I get 4. Naps are completely unpredictable. Sometimes she'll sleep 3 hours, sometimes she'll sleep 10 minutes. I had thought she would be done with spitting up by the time teething was a real issue. Unfortunately she spits up just as much as ever (even solids). Combined with the drool, I end up changing her clothes at least four times a day.

Hopefully I can figure out some more solutions to make all of this a little easier for both of us. I'm going to the store today to get some medicine for her sniffles. That should knock out a big chunk of what's bothering her right there. I'm also going to check into the vulli teething toys since I've heard so much good about them. I might up the solids too so that she spits up less, but that will mean more work for me in terms of pumping. This too shall pass!

Preparing for the Holidays

Every year around this time I suddenly realize that the holidays are impending. November seems to sneak up on us every time! Perhaps it has to do with Oregon's lack of noticeable weather changes. It's a mixed bag of thoughts and feelings mostly related to wondering where the time has gone and how am I going to survive the next two months?! This year isn't much different, but I do feel as though I have a different perspective.                                                                                                                                                                          

Typically I start to work up an impending dread of what the holidays will include. They tend to become a gas guzzling blur of driving all over the place, knitting, sewing, cooking, cleaning, rehearsing, performing, and weeks of gift shopping. This is all very strenuous on my stress level. I think this year I'm going to be able to either deal with it better or just avoid it completely.

We're living with my parents so there's one less trip. I'm also accustomed to being sleep deprived so perhaps I won't be half asleep when we visit our various relations (one of Paul's cousins likes to tease me because I always fall asleep when we visit). Paul and I have decided that instead of buying each other gifts we're just going to allow each other to buy something for ourselves that we really want but haven't been able to get. I'm getting boots. He's getting a video game. We've also set spending limits with my family that will make it much easier to shop. The ultimate confidence boost is that nothing can be more stressful and exhausting than the first month with a newborn, so Christmas should be a breeze.

I say all of this with confidence even though I want to run through my house screaming because Charlottes been grunting and restless the last hour and I'm about to lose my mind. So perhaps my hope for the holidays is a pipe dream and it will be as stressful as usual with the magnified stress of the baby to tote all over. But I can dream right?

Squeals and Snotty Noses

I feel like it's been awhile since I've posted anything. Since I posted last, we've survived a weekend choir retreat, halloween, and more of the day to day.

The choir retreat was a bit challenging. The beds that were there were all very small and narrow bunk beds that didn't leave much headroom for the bottom bunk. I ended up getting a migraine from sleeping on the mushy padding. Charlotte seemed to enjoy the endless attention. She also seemed to enjoy the sweet potatoes I fed her. She ate the whole jar in one sitting. A couple of days before the retreat she started to discover how loud she could yell and enjoyed practicing her big girl voice while the kids sang solos. It was pretty amusing.

The last few days she's started expanding her yell into baby words. It's fun to listen to her while she's playing with her toys "bobobobo oooo oo bobo yiii!!!" She also likes to experiment with how high she can squeal. She's quite amusing.

She's also right on the verge of sitting up by herself. I can seat her with a toy on her feet and she'll stay sitting until she tries to straighten her legs or leans too far to one side. A few times I've thought she was going to fall backward and she managed to right herself. We don't have a high chair because I had expected to use the bumbo, but it looks like we'll be needing the real thing sooner than I expected.

On a less happy note, I'm starting to lose the battle against this stupid cold. I had managed to squelch it's evil power over my sinuses a couple weeks ago with the help of umcka and emergen-c, but it's back with a vengeance. I've armed myself with chicken noodle soup, orange juice, more emergen-c, echinacea tea, and many boxes of tissues but this cold is pretty determined. Chucks been a bit stuffed up and I gave in and got the snot sucker by Nose Frida. It's a tube with a mouthpiece that attaches to a chamber with a hole in the end so you can literally suck the snot out of your baby. It sounds pretty disgusting and she screams bloody murder when I use it but I swear it works so well to clear her nose that I don't really care. It's better than her fussing while she's breastfeeding because she can't breathe!

Meeting the New Pediatrician

Chuck's first butternut squash

Charlotte had her first appointment with her new pediatrician, Dr. Monique Pritchard at the Sellwood Medical Clinic. The lactation consultant at Andaluz, Sonja Horowitz, recommended her to me after I had talked to her about some of the concerns I had about my previous pediatrician. Well I'm happy to say that I loved her, and so did Charlotte.

Charlotte's 11lbs 9oz and 24 inches long. She's in the 75th percentile for length, 80th percentile for head size and 10th for weight. Dr. P was very encouraging saying that Charlotte's development and strength was a good indication that her percentile rating wasn't really that big of a deal. I was happy to hear this because I know my baby is plenty healthy and she's gaining weight pretty steadily.

I also found it very encouraging that she validated some of my instincts. She recommended starting Charlotte on solids now, but to skip rice cereal. I can only guess at my reasons, but I've had an aversion to rice cereal and it was nice to hear that I'm not crazy. She suggested that I feed her organic nutrient rich fruits and vegetables very gradually. She said that there have been a bunch of studies recently that show earlier exposure to foods led to fewer food allergies. I fed Charlotte some butternut squash when I ate my dinner and she had no problem wolfing it down. In fact, she kept trying to grab the spoon and feed herself! I think she's ready.

The bib is stiff so she leans back so it won't push on
the Bumbo.

Besides the numbers we got today, it's pretty obvious Charlotte is growing. I bought her a 6 month size outfit thinking she'd wear it later, but put it on her just to see how big it is. It's a bit baggy but it almost fits her. This is rather surprising considering she didn't fit into the 3 month sizes until recently and when I bought her last round of 3 month clothes they were all on the big side. It's kind of exciting :) Mostly just because I like shopping for baby clothes.


This weekend Charlotte and I are going with my parents on a choir retreat. It should be a bit of an adventure spending a weekend with a group of high school kids. I'm looking forward to it. I got Chuck some fuzzy jammies for the cold weather ahead and a poofy ladybug costume for halloween! Should be fun.

3 Months 4 Weeks

Ever since I was pregnant I feel like I have an ongoing discussion going in my head about what to tell people in terms of time. What I mean is, when people asked me "how far along are you?" I debated between giving them a month or a week, and if I gave them a month, is it based on 10 months or 9 months? Now I debate about it with Charlottes age. Right now she's 3 months and 4 weeks, in a few days she'll be 4 months. I've been saying she's almost 4 months for about a week and a half now. I almost feel guilty for jumping the gun!

I took Charlotte to another mom group Monday. She weighed in at 11 pounds 5.5 ounces, so she's gained more than a pound in the last month. I'm pretty satisfied with that. I chatted with the lactation consultant, Sonja, about her being 4 months and what her opinion was on giving her solids. She's in the "wait until 6 months" camp. I'm going to talk to her pediatrician about it at her appointment next Tuesday as well to get her opinion before I decide what to do.

I also spent some time talking to Sonja about the stress I've been feeling. It was nice to hear that my frustrations weren't unreasonable. She offered me some ideas for ways that I can get a break every once in awhile and that it wasn't wrong for me to be so frustrated about being completely tethered to my baby 24/7. I hate to do it, but I can't pump enough to cover the feedings while I'm working, so I'm going to try formula and check in with Charlotte's pediatrician about it.

On that note I have a new obstacle to figure out. Childcare. I have high school girls watching Charlotte while I teach the five hours of lessons I have scheduled. The problem is that so far they haven't always been very dependable and I end up having to refund money for lessons spent on calming down my crying baby instead of teaching my students how to sing. It's a weird balance and I really need to get it figured out so I'm not losing money every week.

Stay-At-Home Mom

I've heard the term "stay-at-home mom" for most of my life. My mom was a stay-at-home mom as were both my grandmothers. I've always known that I would be one too. For some reason, I have always pictured myself staying at home with my kids, but also working some of the time too. So,more like a 3/4 time mom and a 1/4 time worker.

Charlotte's baby Converse
are just a little bit too big.
She's still pretty gangsta.

Unfortunately I feel like I'm swimming upstream and it's rather frustrating. Today I had a voice lesson. Years ago, going to my voice lesson was as simple as walking up the park blocks with my music notebook. Now it's a 45 minute drive, pumping, arranging for someone to watch my baby, making sure I feed her before I leave, worrying about how she's doing the entire time I'm gone, and then a 45 minute drive home. Today it even included a stop off to the high school to grab the music that I'd forgotten whilst packing up my baby's stroller to leave last night. I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can grow professionally, it's just 10 times more work because I have a baby to care for.

I keep finding myself rather bitter at my assumed role. I didn't picture my baby needing to be held and played with and changed and fed every second of every day for this long. Surely she should be able to sleep without being held by now! Surely she should be able to play with toys for more than 5 minutes before getting frustrated and worked up into a tizzy. Apparently not.

The thing that keeps me sane is when I stop and enjoy the moments with my baby that I wouldn't have if I was working. Now she's rolling over on a daily basis. Paul finally saw her roll over for the first time today. She's growing and we just switched her into medium sized gDiapers today. She's also much more talkative, and much more responsive to her environment. I feel so conflicted when I send her off with babysitters while I'm teaching. On one hand it's really nice to do something besides cleaning or caring for my baby. On the other hand, it's all I can do not to run down the hallway to console my screaming kid. (She's always returned to me sleeping and happy, so it's really just me being paranoid) The video is of her playing her new favorite game.

We have a winner!

Well, maybe we have a winner. My lactation consultant recommended I try to go dairy free to help improve Charlotte's spitting up. I kept trying to make it a day without dairy, but I'd end up not thinking about it and having cheese on accident. Basically dairy is in everything. Vegans are far more disciplined than I am! So I decided to try those pills you take when you eat dairy to break down the lactose.

I had a pill with my dinner last night and again with my dinner tonight and so far the spit up seems to be improved.

Right now my mom is cooing the Jeopardy theme at Charlotte who seems to be enjoying it as she's cooing back. I felt the need to mention this since it's adorable.

For people who have read my blogs for awhile, you're probably familiar with my "3 things a day" rule. Basically I try to keep my day to 3 things. I define a thing as being stuff you do in one location or stuff that can be grouped together. Like today, I had lunch with a friend (thing 1), ran a few errands (thing 2), and cleaned the kitchen and cooked dinner (thing 3). Normally this would be a pretty reasonable day. But with a baby running errands is 1. finding parking, 2. getting out the stroller, 3. loading the stroller with the carseat and diaper bag, 4. shopping for what I need, 5. consoling crying baby, 6. going back to the car, 7. putting the stroller away, 8. feeding the baby in the drivers seat, 9. changing the baby's diaper, 10. putting the baby back in her seat, 11. reinsert binky, 12. drive to next place, 13. repeat things 1-12.

This is like 1000 things. This leaves me exhausted. So I need to either limit my day to one of my original "things" or I need to allow myself more things in baby terms. This makes it rather hard to get anything done. Parents of older kids tell you that you won't sleep and you'll be nuts until your kids are 18, but they never tell you that you will also be unproductive for that amount of time too!

3 months and working with momma

At the mall after mom trying new lipstick.

Charlotte turned 3 months yesterday. I was going to do a facebook update, but I've been so busy that I didn't have time! Actually, I hadn't really thought much about how ridiculously busy I am until I was sitting in my weight watchers meeting today.

My leader was talking about how everyone has 5 minutes here or there to exercise...while they're watching tv, while they zone out on facebook, that sort of thing. I started to think about this and realized I kind of don't have 5 minutes to do anything. My day is a combo of trying to get anything done at all and taking care of my baby. Most of the time I end up spending more time on taking care of Charlotte than anything else and even though I get things done it doesn't feel like it most of the time. Sure I could do my shake weight, but then I couldn't update my blog or reorganize my makeup, or clean on the rare occasions that I have time. I think 5 minute workouts here and there are for moms of babies that can entertain themselves or sleep more than 20 minutes at a time.

3 months old and
already posing for topless
pictures! that's my girl!

Today was the first day that I took Charlotte to work with me. I have it worked out where I have students to watch her while I'm teaching for most of my lessons. I haven't quite figured out the whole pumping and breaks thing since I set my own hours, but it didn't go too badly and my students are pretty happy to have her sitting in. Honestly working moms, I don't know how you do it. I feel stressed out by working 3 hours  two days a week!

This weekend I have the last wedding of this year to attend and then we have to repack our mess of a storage pod. We're also going to look at a house that I'm really excited to see. I think it will help keep us motivated to get on track with our finances so we can hit the ground running to buy a house as soon as possible.

Almost 3 Months

It's hard to believe that Charlotte will be 3 months old in three days. The last few days have been busy but so rewarding as Charlotte has discovered her voice. She's been cooing for awhile, but it's been kind of at random. Now she can be upset and we can convince her to be in a good mood. She's also started to be more aware of her hands. We got her a teether that she's more than happy to shove in the general direction of her mouth with both hands.  I took several videos today of her cooing and talking. It's pretty fun!

Last week she hit her milestone of rolling over on her own. She hates being on her tummy too long and honestly with so much going on we've been neglecting her tummy time. I'm glad that she's still developing properly. She's rolled over one more time, but hasn't done it again since. I'm definitely more motivated to give her tummy time now though!

Charlotte in the sweater I knitted before she was born.
Glad it finally fits!

I'm taking her tomorrow to mom group and I'm looking forward to talking to the lactation specialist. Charlotte has had pretty bad spit-up issues. I took her to cranial-sacral therapy twice and she seemed to be doing better, especially with the weather cooling off, but today it was right back to where we started. She was even spitting up clear liquid rather than the usual milky stuff. My sister looked it up and we're pretty sure she has acid reflux. I've been avoiding feeding her rice cereal and for reasons I can't really pinpoint, and I haven't filled her prescription for acid reflux because I wanted to try to improve her spitting up without the use of medications. I'm hoping the lactation specialist will either validate her doctors suggestions or offer some other ideas for how to help her. In the meantime, it's at least good that she's growing!

Charlotte isn't screaming in her bath bucket! This is a huge
improvement!

Trying, unsuccessfully, to eat her rubber ducky.

Camping and Rolling Over

I'm sitting here updating Charlotte's baby book after neglecting it after so many weeks of activity. Charlotte hit a milestone today by rolling over from her belly to her back for the first time today. It was kind of amusing actually. I had put her on her tummy (which she typically hates) and she started fussing, but then she saw football on the tv. I turned her so she would have to lift her head more to see it, and then she flipped. When she landed on her back her eyes were wide and her arms were spread like someone had pushed her unexpectedly. I was so excited I tried to put her back to get a video. Unfortunately she still didn't like being on her tummy and screamed bloody murder, so I gave up and picked her up to console her.

This last weekend we attempted our first camping trip as parents. It was fun spending the weekend with fellow new parents Zach and Sarah and baby Amy. Amy is about 4 months older than Charlotte. It was cool to see the differences in development and to spend time with an older baby for a prolonged period of time, even if it was outside of her normal environment. I feel like I have lots to look forward to! Camping went pretty well other than the weather. Here I thought that planning our camping trip in September would give us the advantage of skipping the heat. Instead we end up in the elements on one of the hottest days of the year...which would have been okay if there was somewhere to swim, but our campground was lacking. Once it cooled down, it was fairly pleasant. We're hoping to try to squeeze another camping trip in before the weather gets cold and wet again.

We're starting to get a bit more settled at my parents now. Paul and I spent some time today trying to clean up our storage pod and the garage. There's still quite a bit of stuff to find a place for, but it's coming along slowly. I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be the same tomorrow and I can take my time cleaning and putting things away. Hopefully in the next few weeks we'll be back into some semblance of a routine again and we'll have homes for all our things.

Wedding Survival

It doesn't stop surprising me how different life is as a parent. Just when I was getting the hang of the day to day stuff with a new baby I get a whole series of curve-balls thrown at me forcing me to make huge adjustments to my way of being.

I can't seem to get over how much more difficult it is to do all the things that used to be no big deal. This last week has been the ultimate example. In the past when we've moved it usually takes a couple days to get everything moved and then about a week to get everything unpacked and situated. This move has taken over a week already and I haven't even put all my clothes away.

This last weekend was filled to the brim with activities. It started with a mani/pedi that had to be shortened to just a pedi because I kept having to take care of the baby. Then I embarked on a 2 hour drive that turned into a 4 hour drive when my navigator took me 45 minutes south of the beach I was trying to find and I had to stop multiple times to feed and quiet the baby. I ended up missing the ceremony of Paul's cousin's wedding. Sunday was a flurry of get dressed, feed the baby, get my hair done, feed the baby, do my makeup, feed the baby, get pictures taken, feed the baby, participate in the ceremony, feed the baby, eat dinner, feed the baby...you get the idea. My whole existence is peppered with feeding my baby.

It's most definitely worth having my beautiful baby girl in my life. She's pretty much the cutest baby alive. But it's still a huge adjustment. I feel like I'm learning more and more how to set my boundaries around my activity level. I get it now why parents don't do as much after they have kids. It's not even a matter of being too tired or wanting to spend more time with their kids, it's more about how much frickin work it is!

A Day of Firsts

 Yesterday was quite the day for little miss Charlotte. We started pretty early with her first trip to the pediatrician. She got weighed and measured. She is 9 pounds, 5.5 ounces and 22 inches now. I had just fed her when Dr. Paul came in to examine her and she was spitting up everywhere. He told me she was in the 15th percentile and that she was underweight, but he did say that she was healthy and gaining which was impressive considering how much she spits up. He recommended I feed her breast milk mixed with some rice cereal a couple times a day and that I feed her more often otherwise. She also had her first round of vaccines. Paul and I decided to have her vaccinated on Dr. Paul's recommended schedule. Dr. Paul's Schedule

I was  bit baffled with the rice cereal. She's only two months old! He told me that researcher are starting to recommend solid foods at 4 months instead of 6 for infants and that our great grandparents would have fed babies solids at 2 months. He also said to do the cereal instead of formula because he hates baby formula. I agree with that part. He comes very highly recommended from multiple trusted sources and I trust him. So last night was also Charlotte's first encounter with solid foods.

He told me to feed her with a coated spoon. I didn't expect her to be able to eat very well from a spoon, but she handled it pretty well. I was really surprised actually at how easily she adjusted, and how quickly she caught on and kept opening her mouth for more! After she finished the cereal I fed her normally and she latched on just fine for that too. I was a bit relieved. Paul took a video.

After her appointment I stopped at the post office to pick up the package with her baltic amber teething necklace. She's been rather drooly and wants to chew so I figured it couldn't hurt to try it. It's really pretty! I guess the idea is that wearing the necklace on your skin warms the amber and it releases oils into your skin and then to your bloodstream that have natural pain and healing properties. The website has more detailed information if anyone's interested: Baltic Amber - Alternative Medicine I figure if it doesn't help with the teething, at least it's a cute keepsake. 

Then we went to visit the in-laws. Charlotte got to meet her Grandpa George and Grandma Carol for the first time. Charlotte fell asleep in Grandma's arms.  It was somewhat challenging spending the day at James & Dori's with the baby. I got up so early to go to the pediatrician that I was in a sleep deprived haze and didn't really pack her diaper bag very well before I left. I ended up with only one diaper pant all day and two burp clothes that quickly became pretty saturated. I managed to get by with hand-washing the diapers, running to the store for disposable diaper pads, and using paper towels instead of burp cloths. We got home pretty late, around 9:30 and then I was reminded of the massive amount of work I still need to get done with the moving stuff. Today I need to finish unpacking boxes so I can take them back to the apartment and fill them again. My mom and I are going to go over this evening and try to finish packing up the pod. 

2 Months Old!

Today Charlotte is 2 months old. The last few hours I've been just staring at her in awe of how much bigger she's gotten. It's like I have a whole different baby. She's so much more responsive and she likes to talk. Sadly her good moods are rather fleeting so you can be in the midst of a great happy conversation and all of sudden she starts to frown and protest.

We are in the thick of being super busy. Yesterday we started moving. We ended up getting our trailer several hours later than planned and it was the hottest day of the summer so far. Go figure. On top of that I was making mad phone calls to try to get details planned for the bachelorette party that had me out until 4:30am. We had to be at the mall at noon today to get family photographs with a fussy baby that had been kept up all night and then finish moving before we had to turn the trailer in. In summary, I'm completely exhausted.

Unfortunately this is the first leg of activity. Paul's parents arrive tomorrow. We have the rest of the week to finish moving the smaller stuff and to finish packing our pod let alone getting settled at my parents. Friday is the beginning of the wedding bonanza weekend and then I have to start thinking about teaching at the high school again. I'm excited for all of the things we're doing I just wish they weren't all happening at the same time! What doesn't kill us right?

Warp Speed Ahead!

Well, we have successfully returned from Charlotte's first trip to the beach. It was so nice to spend two nights with my parents, grandpa, sister, cousin's daughter Pandora, Paul and Charlotte in Seaside. Highlights included roasting marshmallows on the patio, wetting my pants while chasing my sister, eating a clam chowder bread bowl at Moe's and riding the bumper cars with Panda. We did lots of eating and lots of walking. It was very interesting spending so much time with a 6-year-old. It was like a preview of parenting, and I'm really looking forward to it. She's not even mine and it was really nice to feel the reciprocation of affection. Charlotte's just starting to show me that she loves me back, but it's pretty fleeting. I can't wait to love her and have her understand it.

In the midst of so much activity paired with the realization of what the next couple of weeks holds I totally forgot that Charlotte turned 8 weeks old last Tuesday. She'll be two months old on Sunday. I think she's going through a growth spurt. She's still just in newborn sizes, and 3 month sizes are huge, but the newborn stuff is starting to get a little snug.

As far as the next few weeks go, we have our hands completely full. In the next week and half I have to move, pack our storage unit, help throw a bachelorette party, attend a rehearsal dinner, two weddings, Charlotte's first visit to the pediatrician, a photo session, and Paul's parents will be here next Monday.

Moving kind of snuck up on me even though I've been anticipating it for weeks now. There's only so much you can pack and not use I suppose and it's been rather difficult to get much done when I've been so busy with the baby and a plethora of other things. It didn't really occur to me that this coming weekend is the only weekend we have to get everything moved before the end of the month until Monday. Now I have two days to get everything divided between my parents house and storage and then we have to get it all moved. I'll be spending the next couple of days envisioning unpacking my things in our new house as it all goes into storage boxes. I'll also be enjoying our last couple of nights in our own home. It's going to be hard not to have my own home for awhile.

Stationery card

Square Pink Collage Birth Announcement

To see Shutterfly's birth announcement designs, click here.

View the entire collection of cards.

New Model Trade In!

So, since I've taken Charlotte in to therapy I've noticed some pretty significant difference. First of all, she slept for 6 hours the first night and 5 the second. I have gotten sleep!!! This makes a world of difference in how much stress I can deal with. When I woke up and saw her grunting and kicking at 6am she was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen in my life, hands down. Sorry other moms. Mine wins!

Besides sleep, she seems to be eating better, she's smiled a whole bunch and she's a bit less fussy. She does spit up quite a bit still, but it's definitely less than it was. Today's been a bit tougher but I did mess with her sleep patterns last night by going to bed pretty late. Hopefully if we go to bed when we normally do it will be like yesterday. I just love that my baby is so smiley and happy and I love that longer chunks of sleep make me a smiley happy momma!

Teething & Hope

It seems that Charlotte is starting to teethe. Last night she took great pleasure in drooling all over my finger rather than sucking on it. So I got out her raspberry teether and she seemed pretty happy to gnaw on it. I ordered an amber teething necklace for her online so hopefully when she starts to actually feel pain it will help. Right now I think she just enjoys chewing.

I took her for cranial sacral therapy this morning. It's been recommended to me by several midwives, apprentices, and other moms. I took her to Tia Rich, who I'm sure I will be seeing more of. I was so impressed! Charlotte fussed for a bit but by the time Tia was done she was limp as a rag doll and passed out in her arms. I have never seen my baby so relaxed. Tia showed me some things I can do with Charlotte to help continue to improve her latching and growth. She told me Charlotte has a really small hard palate and that her jaw was really tense thus the difficulties with breastfeeding. She also said that she had a bunch of tension in her torso and tummy that explained the massive amounts of spit up. She's still spitting up today, but it's definitely better and she seems to have a calmer overall disposition. So worth the money. Honestly I think it would be cool if Andaluz included this feature as part of their birth package. I probably wouldn't have even noticed the extra expense and boy do I wish I'd done it sooner!

Here's a link for her website if you're at all interested.

Tia's Website

If you're not sure about spending the money on it, Carol Gray offers free workshops pretty frequently. You just have to e-mail her to sign up for a time slot. Here's her website:

Carol's Website

No Time for Humble Pie

Most people that know me find out pretty quickly that I like to be good at stuff. I like to be organized, I like things clean, I have a system for everything, and I like to feel in control, even if everything is chaos. I've managed to rise to many challenges by employing my many methods of organization. I educate myself, I read everything I can find, I consult with lots of people to understand better, I talk through stuff and teach it to other people so I can really fully understand it. I create a system, lists, databases, computer programs, groups, support systems. This has worked for all of my undergrad classes, a stressful masters program, my wedding, other people's weddings, and my pregnancy.

But babies are different. Today was one of those days that reminded me that I can't be good at everything, and that I can't have things on my terms. For some reason Charlotte just decided today and yesterday that she wasn't going to sleep and that she was going to fuss and spit up constantly. I've gone through every single one of my 18 burp cloths in the last two days. There is no system of feeding or laundry, or changing that is consistent. No book can convince my 6-week-old to stay latched longer or sleep more. I can't get her to do anything that is convenient or predictable. This has me thrown for a loop! Usually I can at least convince other people to meet me half way to an arrangement that is somewhat comfortable for me. I have no power here.

I had intended to spend my day today going through more of our stuff and packing, perhaps cleaning and putting laundry away. I don't feel "okay" if things are in disarray. Instead I spent the day in my recliner in my spit-up-soaked pajamas wishing I had the energy to even make myself a meal. Luckily I had a tray of chocolates to sustain me until around 2 this afternoon. I've never felt so utterly defeated in my entire life...and I've had some pretty low points before. I considered myself fairly patient before, but being a parent has pushed me to a whole new level. I feel my death grip on my sense of "normality" being broken little by little. I hate how out of control I feel. I'm sure my tears and sobs aren't just a sign a stress but also a form of mourning. I have to learn to let go of what feels like "okay" and it's hard when you spend such a huge amount of time establishing it.

If I seem extra preachy lately, be patient with me. It's probably a symptom of my trying to validate what feel like incredibly lacking parenting skills. I know I'm probably better than I think I am. My baby girl is still thriving and doing all the things she's supposed to do. It's just a huge adjustment for me to have to do it her way instead of my own.

All Smiles

My sleepy girl.

Charlotte's had a long day. She's passed out on my arm right now.

I went to visit Cristy today. We ended up walking probably something like 3 miles total. Needless to say, I'm wiped out. Charlotte was so good! She gave me a big grin a few times today. So far her smiles have been pretty fleeting - as in, is that a smile or gas? - but this was the real deal! I have a feeling now that the majority of her awake time will be spent trying to get her to smile again.

This month is starting to feel crazy. I have three weddings, family in town to visit on both sides, two trips to the beach, and we have to be out of our apartment by the end of the month. We've decided that we're going to move in for a few months with my parents to pay down our debt and save some money so we can buy a house next year.

Thank you Andrew, Nicole & Lucy for the
awesome PJ's!

I started to go through some stuff today and I felt a bit overwhelmed. Paul's been working crazy long hours so it's basically up to me to get our stuff organized and packed. We're on a funky time frame because of the weddings and the family visiting so we really have to get moved sooner than the 31st and we have to do most of it during the week. I ordered a pod so that I can pack it over the course of a couple of weeks before we have it moved. The reality of living with my parents started to seep in a bit too. I think it will be great to have so many extra hands to help with the baby, but its also going to be a bit of an adjustment. Paul and I haven't had to live with other people for a really long time, and neither of us is particularly good at it. It will be hard not having our own things and our own space, but worth it to have a house as a result.

 I am on a mission to get rid of the baby weight now! I started water aerobics again last night. I won't be able to go anymore after we move so I want to take advantage and go as much as I can. It's nice having some time for myself when I spend so much time being mommy. After we move I'm debating if it will be more beneficial to go back to weight watchers for a month or to join 24-hour-fitness. I'm thinking the gym membership might be nice to get out of the house, but I seriously need to get my eating back in check. I've developed some mighty bad habits! I will be chronicling all of this business in my weight loss blog rather than here I think.

Tuesday was Charlotte's last appointment at Andaluz. She weighed in at 9 pounds exactly. She's still in newborn sizes because she's so petite in the shoulders, but she's definitely bigger. Hopefully she'll get big enough to wear all her summer clothes in 3 months sizes! I'm sad that I won't get to see my midwives all the time anymore. They become part of your life and are there for one of the most life changing experiences you'll ever go through. I take solace in the fact that I can go to new mom groupsand that we will likely go back to share our birth story for Dana's birth class. Hopefully that will tie me over until the next baby!

Cosleeper Day 4, 5 & 6

I am sitting here nursing a pretty persistent headache. Wednesday night was a pretty typical night with the cosleeper. Thursday was fine too although I was a bit anxious going to bed because she fussed all day. Last night was a bit of a curve ball however.

I spent nearly the entire day yesterday out and about running errands. I had lunch with Julia (which was awesome :), I got a copy of Charlottes birth certificate, and then I went on a wild goose chase for a store that I keep confusing with another store. This wasn't a bad thing though because I got a very pretty scarf for winter. It was probably around 6:30 that I got home. Charlotte was fussy and I fed her immediately since I'd only fed her twice in 7 hours. Bri and Emily came over so we could bake cupcakes for the bridal shower for Caitlin Sunday.

Charolotte was pretty good until it started to get to around 9 and she just wouldn't go to sleep. Usually she dozes off around 9, wakes up around 11, then 2, then 4, 6 or 7 and 9. I figured there was just lots going on, so I tried getting her to sleep in her swing in the bedroom with the lights off. That didn't work, she kept fussing over her binky, so then I tried holding her, feeding her again, etc... Ultimately, I didn't end up getting her to sleep until about 1:30. Usually I go to bed with her at 11, so I missed one of my sleep chunks. I'm tired today. I would have slept but I had more errands to run for the shower and Paul's at his brothers all day. No rest for the mothers I guess.

Perhaps I shall try to take a nap now.

Cosleeper Day 2 & 3

The battle of the cosleeper rages on! Well, it's not really a battle so much as an attempt to figure out a strategy that works. That last two nights have gone pretty well. I've been able to get her to sleep with less effort each night and she's been sleeping for good 3 to 4 hour chunks. I was a bit nervous after yesterday. She probably only slept about 3 hours total all day and was pretty alert and awake most of the day. I tried feeding her, taking her for a walk in the stoller, driving her, leaving her in the swing but she was just alert and checking out the world all day. Luckily when it got to bed time she conked out after a good feeding and only woke up twice before 9 this morning.

So, now that I'm able to get her to sleep in her cosleeper, I have some new challenges.

1. Nighttime feedings. There's not really a headboard left on our bed because of the boxspring so I end up sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed to breast feed. My neck is killing me. I need to figure out a way to feed her where I don't end up stiff by the morning.
2. Pacifier control! I'm trying to ween her off the binky a bit, but she is really attached to it. I would like to get to where she can go to sleep without me having to lie there reinserting her binky every two minutes because she's lost it and starts to fuss.
3. Keeping her in her bed through the whole night. After her feeding usually around 6 or 7am she won't go back to sleep. She constantly spits out her binky and her hands and feet are usually freezing no matter how much I pile on the blankets and try to cover them with mittens and socks. (they always end up off anyway) So I end up pulling her into bed with me because she falls right to sleep probably because she's warm enough. I'm thinking about putting a heating pad under the towel she sleeps on and putting on the lowest setting, but I'm a bit nervous that this would overheat her and she'd get dehydrated. 

In other news, I was telling my mom yesterday about how she's more chattery, how she's on the verge of smiling intentionally, and how she's starting to spend more time looking at my face and staring at stuff. Then I get an e-mail that says : Your baby is learning that she has hands and fingers and feet and toes. She's also starting to talk more. Not with words, of course, but by cooing — with increasing goos, gurgles, and grunts. Good timing babycenter!

She came to watch Charlotte while I went for an interview with New Seasons. It was nice to have an honest conversation with my interviewer. We ultimately agreed that I wasn't going to be the best employee if I had to commute from Clackamas to Hillsboro. So he said he'd keep my application on file for a closer store and when a job opens up they'll give me a call again. I'm kind of bummed that I don't have a sure thing there, but I agreed with him that I would definitely be around longer if I wasn't miserable from such a long commute.

Now I've got the kiddo strapped into her carseat so we can go for a walk, so off we go!

Cosleeper Day 1

I find it amusing at how much stuff is involved with going to bed. We've been sleeping in the living room for weeks now so I hadn't really thought about it until last night. Charlotte needs her pacifier, a burp cloth, a light blanket and a heavy blanket, diapering stuff which includes a gpant, two liners & two gcloth, and wipes. I need my nipple cream, boppy, and water cup. It probably took an hour to gather everything into the bedroom last night for her attempt at sleeping in the co-sleeper.

I have discovered the value of tin foil in dimming lights. My home decorating now includes tin foil on several smaller lamps. It's enough light to see so I can nurse, but not so much that she won't sleep. It's not the most fashionable thing, but it works! I had to wrap more tin foil around my bedside reading lamp as part of the getting ready for bed process last night. Tin foil.

Getting her to sleep was a bit more difficult without the swing. In the co-sleeper she tends to fall asleep, startle, and then lose her pacifier which makes her mad so she starts to cry and flail. After an hour of this cycle I gave up and spent another hour letting her suck on my finger to get her to sleep. I tried to feed her really well before I put her down hoping she wouldn't need either to sleep, but she was really fussy and I caved.

Other than that it wasn't bad. She woke up at her typical times, I got up, nursed her, changed her, and was able to put her right back to bed. The only thing I'm concerned about with the co-sleeper is how cold her hands and feet get. I covered her in two blankets but she was still pretty cold when I picked her up this morning. It was so warm last night I had left her in a diaper and a t-shirt. I'll have to put her in her footie pajamas tonight so she stays warm enough. Overall I am relieved that it didn't turn into a night of hysterics. Progress!

Busy Busy Busy

It's been a long week. It's been really difficult with Paul working 12 hour shifts. I feel like a single parent. He gets home, eats dinner and then has to go to bed. It's been hard not getting irritated with his inability to help me with anything. I have the baby all day, plus the cooking, dishes, laundry, housecleaning, shopping, visiting, budgeting, etc... He doesn't require that I do it, but I do. It's impossible for me to sit and just feed Charlotte when she's hungry and take naps when my house is in disarray. So it's been hard.

Thursday Charlotte turned 1 month old. It's amazing how time flies. I took her to have her picture taken and I'm really looking forward to having some nice pictures of her finally. Yuen Lui sucks. Don't waste your money. Sears cost half as much and I got way more pictures and much better pictures. Since Thursday we've had people over, I've taken the baby to visit the Kinkley's, I took her to a wedding I sang for, we helped my grandparents move the last of their furniture and we went to dinner at my parents.

What's been the most challenging through all of this activity is improving my milk production. She's been getting more hungry and my milk hasn't been keeping up. So I've been having to feed her more frequently during the day. This means having to figure out her feedings around driving time, time I need to have her asleep, and times when there isn't a place to feed her or I have to be doing something. It's basically been do a thing, feed her, drive somewhere, feed her, do another thing, feed her, take a nap, feed her, eat some food, feed her.

The perks of being busy and trying to get the milk up have been nice though. If I'm not home, I'm not frustrated with my house and I don't rush feedings quite so much. I've also been having to drink dark beer. It's actually really nice to have a few ounces of beer before I go to bed for the night.  It's a lot of work, but the payoff has been really good. She's sleeping much better at night and she's getting easier to feed. We've worked our way from the recliner to the couch. I'm able to feed her and put her back in the swing and she goes right back to sleep. Paul's switching to graveyard shifts tomorrow so I'm going to start working on getting her to sleep in the co-sleeper this week. If all goes well, I'll get to sleep in the bed again! Huzzah!

New Mom Group

Today I got to go to my first new mom group. Andaluz hosts it the first and third Monday of the month. There's a lactation consultant at the group so you can get help with breastfeeding and ask questions. It was so nice to hang out with other grown ups that know what you're going through. It was also cool seeing moms from our prenatal classes. We all exchanged e-mails and are planning to meet on a weekly basis and to have food! We figured out that we all live in relatively the same area too so we can meet up closer to where we live if the birth center isn't available. Now I'm kind of bummed about moving to the east side in September. I was also able to get her footprints into her baby book on the way out. Unfortunately she was being a drama queen and wouldn't let us do her hands too, so I'll have to try for those when she's passed out. We made an attempt but she ended up getting ink all over the place.

Talking to moms of babies of all ages was really reassuring. Everyone had different experiences with their births, with breast feeding, and with different day to day stuff. I feel so much better about how I'm doing things having heard how normal my experiences are. Now I'm really looking forward to Charlotte getting bigger and the things she'll be able to do.

Tomorrow Charlotte will be 4 weeks old and on Thursday she'll be 1 month old. It's amazing how fast time flies. It's weird how her birth seems like it was just yesterday but also like forever ago. I'm going to go to one of the cheap picture places like Sears to get some pictures for her baby book.

Now I'm off to nap!

Late Night Grocery Shopping

The sleep saga continues. Charlotte had her postnatal appointment on Thursday and after a long night I was pretty emotionally fried. My midwife suggested I try some herbs to help. I dunno about this whole post partum depression thing. Most of the time I feel just fine but then I hit a wall and feel like I can't handle anything. It seems more like a sleep deprivation no time to take care of myself thing than a depression thing. 

Anyway, I got "permission" or rather, validation, at my appointment to pump and bottle feed Charlotte for a couple feedings. It makes it much easier at night to feed her and go back to sleep. It also gives my sore nipples a break. I've done this the last two nights and it's been much better sleepwise. 

Last night I decided to keep myself awake by going grocery shopping at Winco at midnight. I've always enjoyed doing my grocery shopping there late at night. I put on my headphones, park my cart at the end of the aisles and take my sweet time. I took Charlotte in the moby wrap. She fell asleep within the first few minutes but woke up when I put her back in her car seat to go home. It was fairly easy to get her fed and back to sleep around 2 and then she slept for 4 whole hours! I think the bottle I fed her at 6 upset her tummy though because she grunted and wiggled in her sleep the next couple hours and I finally gave up on sleeping more. 

I think with this sleep deprivation thing what ends up happening is that you just get used to it, it doesn't necessarily get better. 

Unpredictablity

Right now my 3-week-old is passed out and making all sorts of grunts and noises in the crook of my recliner with me. It's rather cozy.

Nap time!

She was kind enough to give both of us a break last night. We slept together in the recliner, she woke up, ate, and then went straight back to sleep. I hardly remember waking up to feed her. The night before last she was awake for 6 consecutive hours. Nothing would get her to sleep and nothing would stop her fussing. Finally at around 3am Paul left me in the bed crying and took her for a drive. She fell asleep within two blocks of our apartment. So now at least we know what works for the next time she's up all night.

Today she's slept most of the day with a few feedings. Paul had to miss work to go be a witness in a trial, so he got home and took over babysitting duties. You can see that he's very devoted to the cause. I spent a good chunk of the day trying to figure out some bookkeeping software while they slept on the couch.

I really hate doing my bills and I really hate doing my budget. Our lease is up in September at our apartment and we've decided that it would be the most beneficial for us to move in with my parents for a few months. I feel like we need to really get our spending under control so that it doesn't become a waste for us to live there. We need to save!
 I started by downloading quicken. I wasn't impressed. It basically just tells me what I've already spent my money on. I don't need a program for that, I can look at my bank statement. So I'll be returning that software. Now I'm trying software called You Need a Budget. I like the interface for it, but it still doesn't do as much work for me as I'd like it to. I wish I could fuse the two programs together. I spent hours entering data into the program today only to have it all deleted when I closed it. I wish I knew how to write software. I could make millions by writing a program that I can actually use!

On another note, we've been cloth diapering for a few days and they are awesome. They are really easy to change, really easy to clean and don't leak or anything. The setup cost was rough, but it was worth not having to buy disposable diapers anymore. With our finances so tight it's nice to not have to worry about buying something for our baby to poop on! Gdiapers for the win!

Heeding The Advice of Many

Well, the last two nights haven't been that bad. I still get anxious around 9 when I start to get really tired and I know I have a long night ahead of me, but I think I've found a happy medium.

I called and talked to my midwife and posted my dilemma on the breastfeeding support group on babycenter. The responses I've gotten have basically been to let Charlotte sleep when she sleeps and to adjust my sleeping times around her. Trying to keep her awake during the day will just make her more fussy at night it seems. Sleeping with her in the recliner has been working much better than sleeping in bed as well. It's easier to feed her when she wakes up and easier to get her back to sleep since I'm holding her and stays pretty warm. I miss my comfy bed but I'd rather get more sleep in my recliner. I've also reconciled myself to not having a morning. This arrangement has me "going to bed" around 11pm and finally getting up around 11am. I figure with the lack of deep sleep and all the interruptions throughout the night this is a near equivalent to my normal 8 hours.

G Butt!

I realized, too, that I need to feed her a little more than I want to. What tends to happen is that she eats and is fine for awhile but then starts to fuss. I think I've been misinterpreting this as tiredness rather than hunger because I just fed her. When I feed her again she tends to sleep much easier.

On another note we've hit another couple of milestones. First is that she's finally big enough to wear her gdiapers! I managed to get 12 cloth off craigslist for $40. Considering their $30 for 6 new, I thought this was a good deal. We've been using the disposable pads and I've been pretty happy with them. So far there haven't been any leaks and they break up great in the toilet for flushing. I also like how much softer the pant it and how it doesn't leave as many indents on her legs as the disposables do. We'll start using the cloth today and using the rest of the disposables at night. Thanks to the generous donation of Uncle James and Aunt Dori she shall have 12 more cloth inserts. Hopefully this will be enough to last until she gets bigger.

Sadly there is a finger blocking her ear.
oops

Another milestone is that Charlotte's starting to get a bit more responsive to sound and sight. She loves to stare at her Grandpa Gary's face. He has a gotee and I read that baby's tend to like to look at mens faces with facial hair because of the contrast of light skin with dark hair. It's pretty cute how mesmerized she is with Grandpa.

We have a little crocheted carrot with a rattle in it that she likes to look at as well. Today I had her on her tummy and was able to get her to lift and turn her head from side to side when I jingled the carrot behind her head. Yep, she's a genius! She can turn her head! lol