Epic Update

For me, writing is a way for me to gather my thoughts. I feel like my thoughts lately are so scattered (probably due to a lack of sleep) that I must gather them up and categorize them! So here is my life categorized.

First, SLEEP.
It's not happening anymore. Charlotte was sleeping so well and then teething hit and it ended. She had me up feeding her every hour last night. EVERY HOUR. I've been waking up with a stiff neck every morning for at least three weeks. I'm on my third pillow attempt to ease my sore neck. I'm going to look into sleep methods. It's a bit difficult to sleep train with a house full of people that need to be up at all hours of the morning. But I can't function like this. It also doesn't help that my husband works graveyards. So I don't have the option of "your turn." I need a frickin break.

FOOD.
Chuck's been on solids for a month now. I haven't been overzealous about making sure she has some every day, but I think I'll probably up the solids to once a day at least. She eats that much easily when I do feed her. This means I need to buy cases of baby food. I think I'll wait to make my own baby food when we have our own house. As it is, there's really no place to store it anyway.

GROWING
Charlotte wants to crawl so bad but can't seem to figure out the coordination for it yet. I think she's also going through another growth spurt because she's been eating like crazy and sleeping more during the day. I just bought her 6 month clothes (albeit not as many as 3 month). I would like if she could wear them for at least a few more weeks. Anyone else notice that pajamas and jackets are the last thing they grow out of?  Maybe it's just my baby.

HOLIDAYS
If I didn't have a calendar I would guess that it's early October right now. The holidays feel a bit surreal to me. Thanksgiving just felt like another family meal. I'm beginning to think that traditions are what make the holidays feel like something special. In terms of Christmas, I'm really disappointed that no one wants to go to the tree farm to get a tree. I've been trying to establish this as a family tradition for Paul and I three or four years now and he fights me on it every year. I don't really understand his aversion to it. We have zero holiday traditions left in my family. I want us to have some. I think another tradition I want to start is Black Friday people watching. Perhaps I'll make a website devoted to photos of crazy people on black friday.

BUSY MOM
Right now I'm in the process of putting together a holiday recital for my voice studio. I'm a little nervous about my students preparedness. I've continued to take voice lessons and I feel like they've been very beneficial. I've made it my goal to give a recital (the senior recital I never had) probably mid-February. I need to get going on planning the details!

I'm also on the planning committee for my high school reunion. I love event planning (probably a bit too much) and I've spent quite a bit of time on it.

Lastly I've been seriously contemplating starting a small business making stuffed animals to sell on etsy and in a couple local baby shops. I think it's a good plan, but I worry about the time commitment. I really want to do it though, I think it's a completely viable business. I need to spend time doing some more research.

BAILEY
I think Paul and I are a bit stumped about what to do with our cat. He broke his leg and has been in a kennel for about 6 weeks. We shelled out the $160 to get x-rays which showed that he needs to have his leg amputated. The problem is that this costs $1000+ to do. We don't have the money. We don't have the credit. We basically have to give him up. I'm mad because he's been through so much and we've always managed to keep him - not to mention that we've spent over $400 on this leg so far. Paul's in denial and doesn't seem to want to do anything at all. In the meantime, our poor cat is stuck in a kennel with a leg that's not healing.

HOUSE
We're a bit further from buying a house than I'd like. I'm months behind on my Sallie Mae payments and it's hurting Paul's credit. We have no savings either. Giving, we've only been at my parents 3 months, but I'm getting antsy. Hopefully we'll be able to pre-qualify for our home-loan by February. I've kind of lost my momentum for the time being. We've been working really hard to be on a budget and to get stuff paid down. It still feels like our bank account is a sieve.

The Teeth Have Landed

Charlotte has been developing rather quickly. She's completely sitting up on her own (although she still topples now and then) she's very talkative, she's able to grab straight for things she wants (and put them in her mouth), she has no problem finding sounds, seeing people from far away, and she's even started mimicking sounds she hears a little bit. Right now my sister is teaching her to high-five. She doesn't quite get the concept, but she's moving her hand to my sisters every time.

I had hoped that in the midst of all of these developmental milestones, that teething would be one of the ones on a normal timeline.

But, like everything else, teeth have come early.

At first I was upset because I dreaded what this meant for breastfeeding. Fortunately it hasn't been to much of an issue. It's all the other symptoms that have me in the fetal position on the floor in the wee small hours of the morning.

Teething comes with a whole slew of symptoms. Stuffy noses, irritability, changes in sleep patterns,   drooling, chewing on everything, and, last but not least, sore swollen gums.

She gets frustrated from her stuffy nose because she can't breathe when she's eating. So I try various methods to help her breathe better, all of which make her furious. It's hard to tell when she's fussy because her gums hurt or if she's fussy because she's just tired or cranky. So I never know when to give her medicine. I just got a homeopathic one called Kids Relief. I figure with Homeopathic stuff, if I give it to her and she doesn't actually need it, at least it won't hurt her.

I have to say that the absolute worst parts of teething are the changes in sleep and the drool. I was getting a nice solid 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. That's all over. Now I'm lucky if I get 4. Naps are completely unpredictable. Sometimes she'll sleep 3 hours, sometimes she'll sleep 10 minutes. I had thought she would be done with spitting up by the time teething was a real issue. Unfortunately she spits up just as much as ever (even solids). Combined with the drool, I end up changing her clothes at least four times a day.

Hopefully I can figure out some more solutions to make all of this a little easier for both of us. I'm going to the store today to get some medicine for her sniffles. That should knock out a big chunk of what's bothering her right there. I'm also going to check into the vulli teething toys since I've heard so much good about them. I might up the solids too so that she spits up less, but that will mean more work for me in terms of pumping. This too shall pass!

Preparing for the Holidays

Every year around this time I suddenly realize that the holidays are impending. November seems to sneak up on us every time! Perhaps it has to do with Oregon's lack of noticeable weather changes. It's a mixed bag of thoughts and feelings mostly related to wondering where the time has gone and how am I going to survive the next two months?! This year isn't much different, but I do feel as though I have a different perspective.                                                                                                                                                                          

Typically I start to work up an impending dread of what the holidays will include. They tend to become a gas guzzling blur of driving all over the place, knitting, sewing, cooking, cleaning, rehearsing, performing, and weeks of gift shopping. This is all very strenuous on my stress level. I think this year I'm going to be able to either deal with it better or just avoid it completely.

We're living with my parents so there's one less trip. I'm also accustomed to being sleep deprived so perhaps I won't be half asleep when we visit our various relations (one of Paul's cousins likes to tease me because I always fall asleep when we visit). Paul and I have decided that instead of buying each other gifts we're just going to allow each other to buy something for ourselves that we really want but haven't been able to get. I'm getting boots. He's getting a video game. We've also set spending limits with my family that will make it much easier to shop. The ultimate confidence boost is that nothing can be more stressful and exhausting than the first month with a newborn, so Christmas should be a breeze.

I say all of this with confidence even though I want to run through my house screaming because Charlottes been grunting and restless the last hour and I'm about to lose my mind. So perhaps my hope for the holidays is a pipe dream and it will be as stressful as usual with the magnified stress of the baby to tote all over. But I can dream right?

Squeals and Snotty Noses

I feel like it's been awhile since I've posted anything. Since I posted last, we've survived a weekend choir retreat, halloween, and more of the day to day.

The choir retreat was a bit challenging. The beds that were there were all very small and narrow bunk beds that didn't leave much headroom for the bottom bunk. I ended up getting a migraine from sleeping on the mushy padding. Charlotte seemed to enjoy the endless attention. She also seemed to enjoy the sweet potatoes I fed her. She ate the whole jar in one sitting. A couple of days before the retreat she started to discover how loud she could yell and enjoyed practicing her big girl voice while the kids sang solos. It was pretty amusing.

The last few days she's started expanding her yell into baby words. It's fun to listen to her while she's playing with her toys "bobobobo oooo oo bobo yiii!!!" She also likes to experiment with how high she can squeal. She's quite amusing.

She's also right on the verge of sitting up by herself. I can seat her with a toy on her feet and she'll stay sitting until she tries to straighten her legs or leans too far to one side. A few times I've thought she was going to fall backward and she managed to right herself. We don't have a high chair because I had expected to use the bumbo, but it looks like we'll be needing the real thing sooner than I expected.

On a less happy note, I'm starting to lose the battle against this stupid cold. I had managed to squelch it's evil power over my sinuses a couple weeks ago with the help of umcka and emergen-c, but it's back with a vengeance. I've armed myself with chicken noodle soup, orange juice, more emergen-c, echinacea tea, and many boxes of tissues but this cold is pretty determined. Chucks been a bit stuffed up and I gave in and got the snot sucker by Nose Frida. It's a tube with a mouthpiece that attaches to a chamber with a hole in the end so you can literally suck the snot out of your baby. It sounds pretty disgusting and she screams bloody murder when I use it but I swear it works so well to clear her nose that I don't really care. It's better than her fussing while she's breastfeeding because she can't breathe!

Meeting the New Pediatrician

Chuck's first butternut squash

Charlotte had her first appointment with her new pediatrician, Dr. Monique Pritchard at the Sellwood Medical Clinic. The lactation consultant at Andaluz, Sonja Horowitz, recommended her to me after I had talked to her about some of the concerns I had about my previous pediatrician. Well I'm happy to say that I loved her, and so did Charlotte.

Charlotte's 11lbs 9oz and 24 inches long. She's in the 75th percentile for length, 80th percentile for head size and 10th for weight. Dr. P was very encouraging saying that Charlotte's development and strength was a good indication that her percentile rating wasn't really that big of a deal. I was happy to hear this because I know my baby is plenty healthy and she's gaining weight pretty steadily.

I also found it very encouraging that she validated some of my instincts. She recommended starting Charlotte on solids now, but to skip rice cereal. I can only guess at my reasons, but I've had an aversion to rice cereal and it was nice to hear that I'm not crazy. She suggested that I feed her organic nutrient rich fruits and vegetables very gradually. She said that there have been a bunch of studies recently that show earlier exposure to foods led to fewer food allergies. I fed Charlotte some butternut squash when I ate my dinner and she had no problem wolfing it down. In fact, she kept trying to grab the spoon and feed herself! I think she's ready.

The bib is stiff so she leans back so it won't push on
the Bumbo.

Besides the numbers we got today, it's pretty obvious Charlotte is growing. I bought her a 6 month size outfit thinking she'd wear it later, but put it on her just to see how big it is. It's a bit baggy but it almost fits her. This is rather surprising considering she didn't fit into the 3 month sizes until recently and when I bought her last round of 3 month clothes they were all on the big side. It's kind of exciting :) Mostly just because I like shopping for baby clothes.


This weekend Charlotte and I are going with my parents on a choir retreat. It should be a bit of an adventure spending a weekend with a group of high school kids. I'm looking forward to it. I got Chuck some fuzzy jammies for the cold weather ahead and a poofy ladybug costume for halloween! Should be fun.

3 Months 4 Weeks

Ever since I was pregnant I feel like I have an ongoing discussion going in my head about what to tell people in terms of time. What I mean is, when people asked me "how far along are you?" I debated between giving them a month or a week, and if I gave them a month, is it based on 10 months or 9 months? Now I debate about it with Charlottes age. Right now she's 3 months and 4 weeks, in a few days she'll be 4 months. I've been saying she's almost 4 months for about a week and a half now. I almost feel guilty for jumping the gun!

I took Charlotte to another mom group Monday. She weighed in at 11 pounds 5.5 ounces, so she's gained more than a pound in the last month. I'm pretty satisfied with that. I chatted with the lactation consultant, Sonja, about her being 4 months and what her opinion was on giving her solids. She's in the "wait until 6 months" camp. I'm going to talk to her pediatrician about it at her appointment next Tuesday as well to get her opinion before I decide what to do.

I also spent some time talking to Sonja about the stress I've been feeling. It was nice to hear that my frustrations weren't unreasonable. She offered me some ideas for ways that I can get a break every once in awhile and that it wasn't wrong for me to be so frustrated about being completely tethered to my baby 24/7. I hate to do it, but I can't pump enough to cover the feedings while I'm working, so I'm going to try formula and check in with Charlotte's pediatrician about it.

On that note I have a new obstacle to figure out. Childcare. I have high school girls watching Charlotte while I teach the five hours of lessons I have scheduled. The problem is that so far they haven't always been very dependable and I end up having to refund money for lessons spent on calming down my crying baby instead of teaching my students how to sing. It's a weird balance and I really need to get it figured out so I'm not losing money every week.

Stay-At-Home Mom

I've heard the term "stay-at-home mom" for most of my life. My mom was a stay-at-home mom as were both my grandmothers. I've always known that I would be one too. For some reason, I have always pictured myself staying at home with my kids, but also working some of the time too. So,more like a 3/4 time mom and a 1/4 time worker.

Charlotte's baby Converse
are just a little bit too big.
She's still pretty gangsta.

Unfortunately I feel like I'm swimming upstream and it's rather frustrating. Today I had a voice lesson. Years ago, going to my voice lesson was as simple as walking up the park blocks with my music notebook. Now it's a 45 minute drive, pumping, arranging for someone to watch my baby, making sure I feed her before I leave, worrying about how she's doing the entire time I'm gone, and then a 45 minute drive home. Today it even included a stop off to the high school to grab the music that I'd forgotten whilst packing up my baby's stroller to leave last night. I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can grow professionally, it's just 10 times more work because I have a baby to care for.

I keep finding myself rather bitter at my assumed role. I didn't picture my baby needing to be held and played with and changed and fed every second of every day for this long. Surely she should be able to sleep without being held by now! Surely she should be able to play with toys for more than 5 minutes before getting frustrated and worked up into a tizzy. Apparently not.

The thing that keeps me sane is when I stop and enjoy the moments with my baby that I wouldn't have if I was working. Now she's rolling over on a daily basis. Paul finally saw her roll over for the first time today. She's growing and we just switched her into medium sized gDiapers today. She's also much more talkative, and much more responsive to her environment. I feel so conflicted when I send her off with babysitters while I'm teaching. On one hand it's really nice to do something besides cleaning or caring for my baby. On the other hand, it's all I can do not to run down the hallway to console my screaming kid. (She's always returned to me sleeping and happy, so it's really just me being paranoid) The video is of her playing her new favorite game.