Pre Potty Training

I'm always finding myself in this limbo state with parenting where I feel like I'm either completely incompetent or a total over-achiever. I remember this one time I got a job at a call center and had to go through some rounds of testing so they could keep records of my skill levels. I took a typing test where I had recorded my score and then improved upon it. I told the lady administering the tests that I had improved on my score and I wasn't sure if they'd want to record it. She told me I didn't need to be a showboat. This has always bothered me. 

On one hand, yeah, perhaps I should learn better not to get cocky. On the other hand, this was a rather remedial job and I thought at the time that perhaps I should put myself out there in case there was some chance that they'd want to put me in a job that was more suitable to my skill level. I ended up quitting after two weeks! 

This is the sort of tension I feel with parenting. I'm exceedingly proud of Charlotte and how engaging and intelligent she is. I'm happy to get compliments and I love that people enjoy her. But I feel like I'm always trying to downplay what I like about her to keep from being obnoxious. And then there are times when she's returned to me by strangers because she's wandered off without my noticing. 

Lately I've been contemplating potty training and I keep going back and forth with whether I should even be thinking about it or not. Charlotte is only 13 months old. I am well aware that she is not ready. However she is rather smart, and the reality is that she's very far developed for a 13-month-old. From what I've gathered so far, these are the skills that will make potty training successful:

1. the ability to signal when she needs to use the toilet - verbally or with a sign
2. the ability to understand what I mean when I ask if she has to go
3. the ability to recognize when she's being rewarded
4. the ability to do the motor functions - pulling her pants up and down, ripping off toilet paper, holding her hands under the water faucet

Right now she can just barely do the first thing, and we're still working on her knowing what "poop poop" actually is rather than mimicking it when I say it.  I keep having this sneaking suspicion that there are things I could be doing now with her though. 

What I've found with many of the articles and blogs I've read is that potty training is a nuisance for parents and a traumatic experience for the kid. Everything starts out with "are you ready?" as in, "brace yourself, this is going to seriously suck." My gut has been telling me that it doesn't have to be that way. I'm actually rather eager to get started.

A few days ago I read this blog and so many of the things I was doing intuitively were put into words! It suggests associating a word or phrase with bowel movements (we have already been saying "poop poop"), letting your baby watch you use the bathroom (she follows me into the bathroom whether I want her to or not), having a potty or potty seat around before you start to use it, having your baby sit in the potty or potty seat when they go if you happen to catch them, and having your baby go diaper free. It also gives a great explanation for why to do these five things and how they will help later on. 

We still have a few months yet before we're ready to start hard core potty training. But I think it can be a far more casual and gradual experience than what so many "experts" would lead you to believe. And perhaps I'm being overzealous, and sure it would be cool to say that my child was out of diapers before 2 years old, but I'm not trying to win any awards here. I'm just really looking forward to when I don't have to change diapers anymore!

13 Months Going on 2 Years

For the last week we've been battling a case of rosalea with Charlotte. At first we had no clue what was going on with her. She had a high fever for about 3 days and wouldn't eat hardly anything. When a rash broke out the fifth day we were sure she had chicken pox and I made an appointment to take her to the pediatrician. The doctor told me she had rosalia, which I guess isn't uncommon.
Yesterday her rash started to clear up some, but boy was she cranky and today she's feeling much better I think.

Now we have a whole new set of issues to contend with. Our little 1-year-old is going through her terrible twos already. She gets really angry and screams when she can't do something easily, she hits when we take something away from her or tell her no. And she's always testing us! Last night at Caitlin and Colin's she looked Caitlin in the eye as she slowly reached for her candle sticks as Caitlin told her not to.

So far we've been trying to put her in time out in her crib when she's having her tantrums, but it doesn't seem to be making the impression that it should. I'm going to have to do some research and find some resources for parenting approaches. This is not a kid that is going to take no for an answer, and I don't want to beat her or break her inquisitive spirit. I have my work cut out for me.

In Car Sprinkler

Today was a day for sprinklers. After a nice lunch with Caitlin, Charlotte and I made our way to the play area at the mall. This is turning into a favorite for her. The big kids love following her around and she loves the attention. She also loves to escape out the opening and down the mall. It's always fun being the mom chasing her toddler in public.

At any rate, Charlotte ran around quite a bit and came over to me saying "juice" and I realized I didn't bring any fresh juice. I felt bad for not having anything for her. After she started making a beeline for the entrance every time I retrieved her I knew she was ready to go. When I got to the car I searched the clutter to see what I could give her since she was thirsty. I managed to find my empty camelback water bottle and a bottle of perrier from Kaiti and Clem's wedding last weekend. I put the perrier in the camelback and gave it to her before I got in the driver seat to drive home.

I have one of those mirrors in the back so I can see Charlotte in her seat and she was having a jolly time trying to figure out how to drink from the camelback. I was surprised to see that she was actually getting some of the perrier out of the sip top. Next thing I know I'm driving along on Sunnyside Road and I get sprayed with water! Apparently the fizzy water was building up pressure and whenever she'd pinch the mouthpiece it would shoot out. Thus the in-car sprinkler.

When we got home she napped awhile and then after coating herself in strawberry juice I decided to strip her naked and take her out to her heated kiddie pool (I filled it yesterday and it spent the day in the sun) She was thrilled to have bath temp water in her pool. I thought it was too warm so I pulled the sprinkler over so she could cool off a bit. Unfortunately Charlotte seems to hate the sprinkler. I had to retrieve her from the other end of the yard several times (kind of like the mall...). I must admit though, naked wet baby covered in grass squealing in delight as mommy chases her around the yard is pretty amusing!

Wonderful Woeful Ones

Whoever coined the phrase "terrible twos" probably had a child like mine at two. I imagine when Charlotte gets to be two, unless I can somehow figure out the key to keeping her happy, one is probably going to seem like a cake walk. However, I've decided that one comes with its own set of challenges.

I took Charlotte to her 12-month pediatrician appointment yesterday. Her doctor said she was plenty healthy and was really happy with her recent growth spurt. Her development is months ahead as are her teeth. She's getting in her molars. Molars paired with two booster vaccines seems to have created a monster. We spent the entire evening with Jekyll and Hyde. One minute we had a very sweet fun-loving little girl that wants to play with toys or read books, the next we have a meltdown of fake crying and pouting.

One of my major issues right now is food. We've pretty much completely weened mostly just because I think we've both had enough breastfeeding. So now she gets cows milk and a host of solids. I wanted to be one of those moms who does lots of research and carefully introduces foods into her diet. I wanted to make her baby food and freeze it. I wanted her to eat only organic produce and dairy. But I live in the real world. In this real world my baby is obsessed with berries, bananas, and crackers - so much so that she will not eat anything else.

I expected there to be a round of picky eating, but I didn't expect it to be this early. I spent the better part of an hour trying to force feed my baby avocados after she had seen strawberries that she would have happily eaten instead. She used to scarf down avocados! I was so proud! What happened?!

Another advanced skill that my dear child has started learning is "no". You yell at her "no" she yells right back with the same intensity and inflection. She thinks this is quite funny actually. When I take something away from her that she's grabbed, she gives me a defiant looks and grabs at it even harder.

Dr. Sears books talk about babies and how they need their mommies. He talks about how babies don't have the capacity to manipulate, they just want what they need. My baby isn't a baby anymore. This baby manipulates. This baby is willful and stubborn. This baby is just like her mother! The fussy baby book gave me so much hope and direction with my "high-needs child". But now that I have a high-personality toddler I feel like I need a new instruction manual.

We've tried time-outs for things like playing in the dogs water dish and hitting. The problem is that she waits until you get up and walk toward her after you've warned her to start running away. She doesn't stop with the warning. I know she knows she's in trouble, the problem is that she doesn't care!

I have to admit having a toddler with so much energy does have it's pros. Charlotte never goes unnoticed and she's always happy to flirt and entertain. It's fun watching her play with bigger kids at the playground and I like that I can be pretty rough with her and not hurt her. She's a tough little thing and she melts my heart at the same time. It's just those times when she's shaking my entire laptop desk to get a rise out of me because I wouldn't give her strawberries that I have to wonder if the terrible twos perhaps arrived a year early.