Monday, February 28, 2011

Musing on The Secret

I just got done watching a documentary that explains the key to "The Secret". It's interesting. Basically the secret to a happy life is to think positively about the things you want in your life be it stuff or people or whatever it is you want and to visualize those things. It's pretty simple really. I'm honestly impressed that they pulled a whole movie out of it.

I was thinking about this "technique" of sorts and it does make sense to a certain extent. Some things are just beyond our control, but positivity doesn't hurt. I tell my students all the time to take the time to visualize a perfect performance before they sing. This has worked for me in the past and I think it's a great technique. I can also see the effect of doing this in my own life. I have a Monster Wish List that I keep posted on the wall by my calendar and the bill stuff. I write down everything I want be it as small as a microwave or as big as a new house. In the last six months we have gotten the Honda Element that I figured would take at least 3 or 4 years for us to be able to buy, a new pair of good shoes, a bluetooth speaker for the car, new phones and a bowling ball.

I made this list probably the beginning of the summer. A house is on the list. We don't have one yet, but when I wrote it down I thought "ha, yeah right!" Now we're out shopping and the housing market is kind to our budget.

Another of the techniques is to take time to be thankful for what you have. I feel like I've been doing this more lately as things have been working out so well for us. It's easy sometimes to get dragged into how much things suck. Like, I could be focused on how bad my eye hurts right now from smacking it on a speaker while I was trying to plug in the PS3 I bought for Paul with some money I had saved up. I could also be focused on how stupid it is that I had to buy it in the first place considering our old one was stolen. But instead I think I'll be happy about the fact that I was able to scrounge up the cash to buy it for him. I will also be happy about the fact that I won't be getting too much flack for buying baby stuff too haha!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Paul's Dirty 30

Well, Paul's birthday party went off pretty well. The mario theme was a hit, his cake turned out great, and the cupcakes were cute. He didn't want to do anything for his 30th birthday and I couldn't let a milestone go uncelebrated! Let alone the fact that this was his last birthday before fatherhood.

Toadstool cupcakes with white chocolate dots. My fingers are now
stained with red and green food coloring!
This is supposed to mimic the screen in the original Mario game.
I got compliments from the clerk at the grocery store even!
The 10-year-old birthday dream that will never get too young for a gamer.
Several kids walked by the table at the bowling alley and lingered longingly by the cake haha!
There was a really good turn out and I'm glad so many people were able to come. I don't think Paul realizes how many friends he has sometimes, being such an introvert. I guess it takes an extrovert wife to remind him!
When I got up in the morning I spent some time picking up around the house. I ended up having to do this is small bursts and then rest for a bit. My baby stamina is starting to lower some more I think. My sister came over around noon to help me go buy what we needed and then to help me make the cupcakes. After about 5 hours of running around like crazy, baking, wrapping, decorating, and then bowling, my hips and my ankle are a bit mad at me. Typically a night of sleep has me feeling all better in the morning, but I'm still achey today. I may have overdone it this time. 

This morning we're going to look at some houses with a new real estate agent and then my students are giving a recital this afternoon. Other than the fact that I'm looking at another day on my feet, I'm looking forward to a productive day. 

I'll admit being this busy while pregnant is more challenging than I expected. Since it's temporary (as temporary as 10 months can feel) and since it's all new it's difficult to gauge how far I can push myself before I actually start to overdo it. And since it's a constant change in my body and my baby's growth my activity threshold is always decreasing, and I can't always tell if what I was able to do today will be too much for tomorrow. 
My tried and true methods of coping with my lifestyle so far have been the chiropractor (who I can't praise enough!), my massage therapy, belly braces, and the bathtub. Up until this last week I've managed to avoid using pain killers. Since I want to continue to avoid them I think I may have to start scaling back my activity level. I supposed that since I'm almost at 24 weeks, this is probably reasonable, but when you're as busy as I am it's not easy!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why don't you blog about it?

It just occurred to me that it's been a really long time since I've written a new blog. This is a shame because stuff has been going on!

First of all, I bought a breast pump yesterday. It's the Medela swing electric breast pump. I had a coupon for babies r us for 20% off an item so I got a good deal on it. It's only a single pump so I'll have to do one boob at a time. I figure I'll probably do most feedings directly but it will be nice to be able to pump for late night feedings, baby sitters, and for when I just need a break. I'm so amused that I bought it. It's one of those things that you definitely don't ever need unless you're having a baby and thus a clear first. I would have sprung for the fancier double pump but it would have been another $100 more, so I think I'll try to rough it out with the single.

I also got some baby detergent to wash all the baby things I have so far. It didn't really occur to me that I needed to wash everything before baby could use it until we visited our friends' newborn in the hospital. I really like the detergent because it smells so sweet, I just hope that our baby doesn't have any allergies or aversions to it.

I've been having some fun symptoms today. This morning my eyes kept going out of focus. I'm not sure if this is a side effect of pregnancy or if I was just tired. I've also been getting dizzy at random intervals. Yay!

I think I've finally reached my subbing threshold. I get calls usually 3 or 4 days a week to go sub, but I just don't want to. For one, if I sub on a day that I teach voice lessons I'm looking at 10-12 hour work days. For another, I have to reschedule my chiropractic appointments, and they get really booked up, so I end up missing treatments. My back just hurts too much to miss treatments. So, I just don't earn much right now.

The good news is that we did our tax return and found out that we'll be getting enough from our refund to pay for the birth center. This was something we were kind of depending on so it was a huge relief to have that work out. We're just waiting at this point for the money to appear in our bank account. We'll also have enough money left over to cover the rest of what we need to buy a house, now we just need to find one!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Keeping My Butt Alive

One of the changes that happens when you're pregnant is that your hips spread to prepare for childbirth. This happens more for some people than others. Apparently it's happening to me already. The chiropractor has been helping with the pain of this I think, but my low back and my butt are really just achey all of the time.
I was watching the Doctors, which I usually just leave on if it's on, but don't really go out of my way to watch (I kind of find it obnoxious honestly). They had Alison Sweeney as a guest a couple days ago. Alison is the host of the biggest loser and used to be a regular on Days of Our Lives. She was promoting her book about having a fit pregnancy. She then reminded me of one of the major reasons you exercise when you're pregnant. It's not just so that you don't get fat, it's so that your baby doesn't get fat either. Women who exercise through their pregnancy have leaner healthier babies. No, you don't want your baby to have a low birth weight, and no you don't want them to be 12 pounds either! But, you do want your baby to be a healthy weight. There is also proof that when you exercise you have an easier time through labor and delivery, and you have an easier time losing the baby weight later.

She said that with her first baby she didn't exercise and that she wished she had. She didn't lose the baby weight afterward, but with her second, she walked and lifted weights and was much happier and healthier both during and after her pregnancy. She also said she lost the weight within a few months of the birth of her baby. This had me thinking of all those times when people say "I wish I would have..."
This is my chance! This is the only first pregnancy I will ever have. I can either be miserable with back pain and be fat afterward, or I can be proactive and just do the little bit of exercise that would keep me feeling better.

So the last two days I've just done a little bit of walking. Yesterday I did 25 minutes and today I did 30 minutes at a pace of about 20 minutes per mile. This is not really the 13 minute mile I was doing when I was doing couch to 5k but it's a mile none the less. I think a big part of my aversion to exercise thus far has been "What's the point? I'm just going to gain weight anyway!" But in lieu of this interview I remembered that exerciseisn't just about weight loss.

This is a link to Alison Sweeney's book:
The Mommy Diet

Monday, February 7, 2011

Highs and Lows

It's really hard to gauge how appropriate my emotional responses are to things right now. Yesterday we went to scope out some potential houses to buy. We found one that not only met the majority of the criteria we were looking for, but also was in our price range and we would be able to buy it right now in spite of our limited savings at this point. So it's basically a miracle.

In spite of my crazy schedule today I managed to get ahold of our loan agent. She told us we were all pre-approved and set to go. Then I got a call from our realtor. She said there was an offer on the house already.

It's hard to explain the mix of the feelings I've had with this house shopping experience. It's like a tumultuous teenager romance. We fall in love in a very short period of time - usually a day or two - and then find out that our house is out of our league or in a relationship with someone else. It's hard when you picture raising your newborn, teaching voice lessons, arranging your furniture, or how you'll landscape or paint to have all of those dreams ripped away. I wish it was as simple as just crying and moving on to the next one. But it feels more complicated than that. It's like going through a break up. Not only do we not get to have it, we also don't get to have the future we might have had with it.

We're going to put in an offer anyway just in case the first offer isn't accepted. There's still a possibility that we could get the house, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Part of me wants to throw in the towel. This process is incredibly time consuming, stressful, frustrating and emotionally draining. The only thing keeping me motivated at this point is the fact that we have a baby that needs a home to be raised in and this small apartment isn't going to cut it for long.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

What Pregnancy Means to Me

Pregnancy is when you had a happy and productive day and you still are completely irritable to the point where you just want to cry because you can't figure out how to make yourself feel better.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Documenting Another Day

For some reason I feel compelled to report on my day today. It wasn't a particularly special day, it was just a normal day. But it was a normal day where I was 20 weeks pregnant.

This morning I woke up at 6 because the sub finder system called me to sub. I didn't want to work today because I had lots planned and they usually don't call that much so I tried to go back to sleep. It didn't work. So I got up around 6:30 and had some pregnancy tea. I had a massage at 8. Massages are like crack. You have a little and it's really great, but the more you have, the more you wish you had.

Afterward I went and met up with my sister at Target to look at baby stuff and to get lunch. Then I drove back to Beaverton, went shopping for a bridal shower gift, donated a car full of stuff to Salvation Army, got a hair cut that I think is a bit too short, went to a high school to sign up students for lessons, and then went shopping for party supplies for my husbands 30th birthday party with a former coworker. After that I stopped at New Seasons to get more prenatal vitamins and then came home.

I must have peed 15 times today. Charlotte is in a weird position in my pelvis where it feels like she's pushing against my tail bone, bladder and diaphragm at the same time. I know over the next several weeks she'll start to grow really fast. Normally when I sit at my computer on my coffee table I hunch over a bit but now there's too much pressure on my insides to do that anymore. The chiropractor finally had to drop the belly panel on the stretch table so my tummy could hang down. The massage therapist told me she couldn't use as much pressure through my low back because my hips are spreading.

I guess this last week I've been experiencing more physical changes and they're interrupting my normality. It's kind of miserable and exciting at the same time. I'm hoping in a few more days she shifts and I'm able to feel a little more comfortable again. Still, it's reassuring to know she's there, even if she's making me run to the bathroom every hour.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Ultrasound

Well we finally found out! It's a girl! We plan to name her Charlotte, but we haven't decided on a middle name yet. I figure we have plenty of time to figure it out.

I think Paul's fired from making videos since you can't really see anything very well and a good chunk of the video is spent looking at the tech taking the heartbeat and then the floor. But we have pictures and we're excited!
Everything looked good as far as health goes. She's developing how she's supposed to and all the parts are there. We found out that the placenta is at the front of my uterus near my belly which explains why I haven't felt her moving yet. It also explains why my midwife has such a hard time finding the heartbeat. As far as I'm concerned I can wait to feel her. At least this way she can't wake me up at night from kicking me yet!

The ultrasound tech also validated the due date as being June 22nd. After the ultrasound I had a prenatal appointment so it was cool to be able to show them pictures and talk about it since it was fresh in my mind. They said I look good for 20 weeks and that I'm doing pretty well on taking care of myself. They said it was really important that I make sure to remember my vitamins every day now and that I get enough iron. More red meat and beets for me!

I really love going to my prenatal appointments so far. We spend most of our time chatting and telling stories. It's pretty relaxed and I feel very comfortable talking to my midwives. I think having this kind of relationship with them is really going to help make my labor and delivery go smoother. They are very reassuring and supportive and I don't feel nervous about giving birth at all. I'm sure I'll be more nervous when I get closer to my due date though but it won't be because I don't feel like I'm in capable hands.

I'm planning on doing a small amount of shopping with my sister tomorrow. I'm really excited to be able to start planning and buying things now that we know what we're having. I started this quilt and I think I'll just continue with the themes in it for all of the stuff I use. I'm going to go to the fabric store this afternoon to pick out fabric for the last 3 squares. I will probably also make a couple high chair covers, a hanging wall pocket holder, and a couple other nursery kinds of things.