Batting Down that Hatches

Today is 35 weeks and 5 days. I have about 6 stretch mark spots on my tummy :( but at least they're all still small.

This last week I met the pediatrician I mentioned in previous posts. I really like him and the more I've read and researched on the topic of vaccines the more I agree with his plan. I've felt so lucky to have midwives that respect my choices and agree with my ideals on a fundamental basis. I never have to question their expertise or actions. I feel like that sort of relationship will continue with this doctor. I told him at my appointment that it gets really exhausting having to research and triple check every decision I make with regards to healthcare and it would be nice to be able to just trust the judgement of an expert.

 The clinic also does a small group class for any new parents that want to learn and ask questions. I'm glad to have a resource like this. It also occurred to me how little I'll have to do after the baby comes. Right now we have weekly birth classes, prenatal appointments, water aerobics, I have 3 days a week of teaching voice lessons, and we drive all over creation for various visits and obligations on the weekends. Our lives are building up to this big monumental moment and then once it happens, nothing. No classes, no students, no aerobics. It's a blank slate. Which is good because I have no idea what to expect in terms of my exhaustion levels and what I'll need time for when the baby comes. But I like to keep busy and at least I have this one class to look forward to.

I had a dream last night that I got to the birth center because I had gone into labor, but I wasn't having any contractions. I kept telling everyone that it wasn't time yet and I wanted to go home, but my midwife said I was fully dilated and that the baby was coming any moment and I had to stay. She told me to rest and then left saying she'd come back when I was ready to deliver. I tried to sleep but family kept coming in our room and everyone was talking and waiting impatiently telling me I just had to do this or that and she would come. I felt out of control. I tried calling the midwife to come back but there was no answer. At one point the receptionist told me I needed to be less sarcastic because I was upsetting other people at the center. I was like..."what about all these people in my room making all this noise and upsetting me?!"I woke up before the baby came.

I feel pretty ready to have this kid, but apparently my subconscious isn't so sure! I guess it's a good thing I have another month.