For months the thought has been crossing my mind, "eventually things will be normal again." So many "normal" things are disrupted through pregnancy and then with a new baby. Things like potty breaks, what clothes you wear, standing up and sitting down, exercising, sleep, walking, shopping. Normal things.
There were several things that I expected to be better as soon as I had the baby. It seems that they have actually gotten more difficult, I just don't feel uncomfortable all of the time. Potty breaks are fewer and further between but really painful still. Clothing is actually more limited because my maternity clothes are all too big and too warm now and my pre-pregnancy clothes are all too small and now I have to be able to get to my boobs at a moments notice. Exercise is out. Sleep is a distant memory. Walking is out. Shopping is out. Normal seems to be eluding me.
Today we went to Target to get a few more baby things (diapers, wipes, etc..). My typical trip to Target includes walking a lap or two around the store, browsing at the usual clothes, housewares, cleaning stuff, beauty stuff and jewelry and then purchasing the 3-5 things I actually went for. This trip included a scooter, a fussy baby, lots of public attention, stops at two departments and a beeline for the register. I'm pretty sure some things will return to a state of "normal", but I'm also certain that some things, like shopping at Target, will have to be reshaped into a new version of normal.
Now my normal includes breast-feeding, sore nipples, achy hips, sleeping and not sleeping at all hours of the day and night, feeling exhausted from walking to and from the bathroom and having to be helped with just about everything. Some of these things I know will get better. In the meantime I feel pretty pathetic. But I guess it's not too bad of a trade for my baby girl and at least I have lots of guilt trip ammo when she's a teenager!
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