Tactical Measures

The last two nights in a row we've had some pretty rough sleep challenges. We keep having issues where Charlotte wakes up to eat but doesn't stay in her light sleep mode and ends up waking up and fussing really bad. Fussing isn't really the right word. Screaming and squirming is more accurate.

This doesn't seem like it's all that atypical for a newborn. Honestly it's not really that big of a deal. She'll do the same thing during the day and it doesn't phase me. For some reason her fussiness at night pushes me to the brink of my sanity. The last two nights I've ended up in an uncontrollable sobbing heap on the floor in the fetal position.

So I'm on a mission to figure out how to at least keep my temperament under control even if she's going to fuss.

Tactic #1:
Change my sleep schedule.

I think there are three reasons for my over-emotional reactions to her late night fussing.

Reason 1 is that I keep thinking that if I'm asleep around midnight I'm getting better sleep. This is probably true for people who get the normal 6-8 hours and go to bed before midnight. But judging from my daytime haze, I don't think it's doing me much good. So I'm not going to bother trying to get to bed before then.

Reasons 2 and 3  are that I got my hopes up and that I don't wake up well. I've had a few successful attempts at getting her to latch while I'm still laying down and half asleep where she's eaten and just fallen asleep on me again (a huge pro for co-sleeping). I've hardly had to wake up in these instances and barely remember getting her latched on to eat. When this doesn't work I have to completely wake up and sit up to get her to latch. This just sets me on a bad trajectory. I get really pissed off when I've had to wake up abruptly when I felt I should be able to go back to sleep. Ask my mom about when she had to wake me for school! I get downright mean. My frustration contributes to her frustration and she fusses that much more.

My tactic in lieu of these challenges is to expect not to sleep tonight. I'm not even going to try to go to bed. I'm going to sit in my recliner and have the lights and the tv on and if I fall asleep it's fine, but I'm not going to try to actually go to bed or actively try to get any sleep. I'd rather be tired enough to nap with her tomorrow than in this haze where I feel too tired to sleep and am completely exhausted by the time I get to bedtime.

Tactic #2:
Reset baby's sleep schedule.

Charlotte sleeps for long intervals during the day and shorter ones at night. This needs to be reversed if I'm going to get any deep sleep at night. So I've been working hard all day to keep her awake longer and to only let her sleep a couple hours at a time. There are many culprits for why she's been sleeping more during the day, and most of them are my fault.

First is that a sleeping baby is easier for visitors to enjoy. I've been letting her sleep longer because we have people around that want to hold her and I tend to avoid feeding her when there are people around.

Second is that I've been maintaining the philosophy of "if she's sleeping, she must need it." I'm starting to suspect that it isn't true and she can get the same long chunks of sleep at night that she's getting during the day.

Third is that I'm lazy. Feeding her is a challenge and I avoid it.  Time gets away from me when I'm trying to get something done (like blogging!) or we're out somewhere. It's easier to just let her sleep away the hours especially if I don't want to feed her in public or want to interrupt a roll that I'm on with something.

I kept her awake for a couple hours this afternoon, let her sleep from around 4 until 7 and then she was awake from 7 until just a little bit ago around 11. This is probably the most that I've kept her awake and the most that I've interrupted her sleep during the day. I'm hoping it pays off tonight!