...makes you really, really tired.
This has been a whirlwind of a week. I spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday out at the schools that I'll be teaching at through the end of the school year. Meeting the kids, co-teaching with my mentor teacher, and planning for the job was really exciting.
Yesterday the reality of it all started to sink in.
This is a big job to take on not because of the day to day, but because of the timing. This week I spent all of my prep periods trying to get my hiring paperwork processed (a packet as thick as my finger), organizing the rooms and offices left by a teacher who has no organization skills whatsoever, and trying to meet other faculty to get a feel for what needs to be done - oh yeah, and the administrator that I will be answering to was gone all week. I learned from the teacher that's been there (one of my mentor teachers from grad school) and the band teachers that I have kids going to Disneyland in less than two weeks, a concert to put on with less than four weeks of rehearsals, I have to take the A-Choir to the district choir competition, prepare a variety show, an extra-curricular choir to find a rehearsal time for and then I have to figure out what they're going to do should I go into labor before school gets out. My due date is literally the last day of school.
This is all in addition to 10 voice students back in Portland, a daily 2 hour commute, a prenatal class that I have to find time for, league bowling, chiropractor appointments 3 times a week, aqua aerobics, and the 20 social activities we have every weekend.
Needless to say, getting home each night has me absolutely exhausted. It didn't help to come home last night to a less than satisfactory paycheck in our bank account. It was basically all gone before we even got it. I also got a voice message that the housing assistance program we qualified for is out of money. No house for us. Even without this job this would have been hard news to process.
I hate to admit it but I've been a bit resentful of my being pregnant right now. Given, I am absolutely happy and excited to have a baby. I just wish that I could have had her a year ago or something so I had more energy and coping skills right now. Paul and I went to Red Robin for dinner last night in spite of our lack of funds and I started bawling because he ordered chicken wings with his free appetizer card just because he knew I wanted them - he doesn't really like them.
I know that yesterday was just a hard day and that today is better already. I'm trying to maintain the attitude that things will work themselves out. We'll find all the chunks of money we owe to pay our bills and pay back people we've borrowed from. (Like...when I get my paychecks from the real job I have), the days will pass and all of the things I have to get done will get done and when I go into labor there won't be anything but our baby to worry about.
In the meantime, I have to maintain this craziness knowing that if I can pull it all off I could have a full time job in a great school district with great kids waiting for me next year. 3 months isn't so bad when it could mean the ability to provide for my family and have the life I've been waiting to start since I finished school two years ago. I just have to survive it all!
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